Coombs Clan Doings

Crazy week.....

2011-09-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

This past week in the hospital has been crazy, crazy, crazy! Lauren came in 2 weeks ago with a bad migraine that radiated to her stomach. She was put on an IV to rest her GI system and they tried out different things to relieve her migraine. They decided to try her on Topamax (a medication to help keep her from getting migraines so bad). She was started on the medication last Saturday...by the next evening she was so dizzy that she could not stand! All last week, she had to be helped to the bathroom and had to use a wheelchair to go anywhere else. The dizziness also made her very nauseous. I finally convinced the doctors (since Dr. M was out of the country) to take her off the new medication. They did on Thursday and I hoped her dizziness would improve...it did not. They called in Neurology to try and help us figure out what is causing Lauren to be so dizzy. I got frustrated with them over the week-end and was elated today when Dr. Muenzer got back into town! He met with the neurologist and her GI doctor to discuss what is going on with Lauren and what they can do. The neurologist told us that Lauren doesn't have any sensation in the bottom of her feet and they want to do more testing to see what might be going on. She had an MRI but it looked normal (thank goodness). They still need to figure out what is causing Lauren to be dizzy...I am still not convinced that it wasn't the medicine and it is just going to have to work it's way out of Lauren's system. At any rate, everyone is putting their heads together to figure out how to get Lauren thru this and back to normal. We have already been here two weeks and I fear we may be here for a couple of weeks longer given what is going on. I am hopeful we will get to the bottom of this quickly though and we can go home very soon! it has been crazy around here though the last week or so and seeing Dr. Meunzer today was like manna from Heaven for me! Hopefully they will be able to get to the bottom of what has been going on with her so we can get it resolved! Life keeps us hopping all the time!!!

Back to our second home.....

2011-08-28T11:11:00.000-07:00

Even after all these years of going in and out of hospitals, I still don't like to work hospital visits into our life when I am planning for a school year or just putting us on a schedule. I should though...because we are always coming in to the hospital and if I put a plan together for when we come in then it would be easier to deal with. I actually tried to do that this time. I feel like I am in a better place because of that.....hospital visits are still not fun and I STILL wish that we could actually come in to the hospital and leave in a reasonably short amount of time but I know that is not the case so I tried really hard this time to plan for the actual time that we will be here. Planning to stay a long time does not mean by any means that I want to be here that long but it makes me not get so anxious as the days wear on. Lauren has been doing AMAZINGLY well this hospital visit but today she is starting to wane a little. They have not been able to get her migraine or stomach pain under control and that is proving to be wearing on her some. She knows it will get better...she just doesn't know when and that can take it's toll. But...she is trying to stay optimistic about it and that is half the battle! I love my family for their patience as we trudge thru yet another long stay.....we will get thru this one like we have all the others...with love, patience, and faith!

Grown up!

2011-07-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking the last 2 weeks a lot about how fast time is flying by! My kids are all growing up faster than I would like and seeing Emily entering college and going off to Institute each week is making me feel like "where did all the time go?" I didn't realize until recently one day when I was looking at Emily that she is all grown up! I'm so proud of the beautiful, spiritual, well rounded young woman she has become. She reminds me so much of her dad in her quiet, gentle strength. There are so many things that I want to make sure she understands and knows and I wonder if we have instilled in her all that she needs to be successful in life. I remember when she was born and I would wonder what it would be like when she graduated from highschool and now that I am here, it seems like the years went way too fast. I think about those years and a big part of me wishes I had them back and wishes I could have done some things much better but I am so thankful she has turned out so well! In one week Michael will turn 13 and I will have all teenagers! Life continues to move forward whether I want to stop it or not and I hope and pray that we can continue to teach our children correct principles and that all of them will one day be able to govern themselves and be the righteous, faithful adults we are trying so hard to send out into the world! Emily is now beginning adult life and I am so blessed to be able to say that we are sending her out into the world with a firm, unshakeable testimony and a strong desire to do the Lord's will in her life. Her roots are planted firmly in the ground, now it is time for me to let go and give her the wings she so richly deserves!!!

4 Years!

2011-07-10T06:10:00.001-07:00

It's been 4 years since I had to say good-bye to my precious little boy. I still miss the sound of his voice and I miss him everyday! I wish I could see him....if only for a minute.

Sometimes....

2011-06-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there are no words to express the feelings in my heart....there are many times I experience things while Lauren is in the hospital that squeeze my heart and bring me many tears but I rarely share those times....sometimes because they are sacred, sometimes because they are too tender to share, and sometimes there is no way to express those feelings in words. I oft times use too many words and I think about Noah when he would say, "no more words, Mommy"...sometimes, we just have to trust in the Lord and walk forward with blind, total faith. Those times are hard and each step is painful and at sometime in the future, we will understand.....but for now there are no words.....

Emotional....

2011-06-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

I know we come to the hospital a lot and I am grateful for all the love and help that we receive from so many, especially everyone on 6 childrens at UNC Childrens. They are wonderful and amazing and my heart is always touched by their outpouring of love and attention to Lauren. I am also very thankful for her fantastic doctor who fusses over her as if she was his own..they are true blessings; however there are also reasons why I HATE coming into the hospital....it always stirs up painful memories for me. I do not like seeing my child in pain and having to watch that process and feeling helpless is very hard for me and the pain of losing Noah always bubbles right back up to the surface and my emotions can easily erupt...I hate that! I try so hard to keep everything in perspective but there is always that moment when things are calm during the night that the tears come and the pain returns. I deal with it like I always do but somedays, like today, my heart feels tender and as I look at other little ones on the floor, I long to be able to hug and see my little boy. It's just a wish and then I manage to tuck the pain back inside and move ahead again. Hospitals bring out my emotions and I don't always like having to deal with them while I am trying to get Lauren better. I'll be glad when we are finally able to go home again!

COUNTDOWN TO VACATION.....

2011-05-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems like each year we are racing the clock to get on vacation and here we are again...Lauren was brought back into the hospital last Wednesday for hopefully what would be a short visit to get her stomach pain under control...well, I don't know why I EVER expected it to be a short visit! Bless her heart, her stomach just does not cooperate with any of us. Today the doctors are planning to scope her (upper and lower) to see if there is anything there that might be new or they missed. If they don't find anything, then they will reassess her and try to figure out how to get this stomach pain under control. At any rate, I told Dr. M yesterday that we are on the countdown to vacation....as of today it is 26 days to vacation.....we are gonna make it...everyone count and pray with us!!! :) Hopefully Lauren will be up and feeling better very soon....that's what I am praying for! Love you all!!!

Ready for the Summer!

2011-05-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

The last month has been a rollercoaster in our family and definitely has me looking forward to summer! After Lauren's snafu with the med port on the j-tube and getting thru that, then Michael got sick with a bug and his blood sugar dropped dangerously low which required us to rush him to the hospital by ambulance in the wee hours of the morning....grateful for priesthood blessings and for our wonderful specialist at Chapel Hill! Mikey and I spent 5 days in the hospital while he recovered from the virus bug he had and he bounced back wonderfully! His mother, however, is VERY VERY TIRED and worn down from the recent events but am finally starting to recover! Our annual vacation to Lakewood Camping Resort is a little over a month away and and I can HARDLY WAIT! I need some time to retreat, soak up some sun, spend time with my family and feel the solace that the ocean brings to me. I am very thankful for the blessings the Lord continually showers me with and for good friends who remind me of all the good things in my life! I went visiting teaching today and came home feeling not only grateful for the wonderful women I have the privilege of visiting teaching but for my adorable companion who I share a wonderful bond with. I am grateful for my fantastic husband who's strength never ceases to amaze me. His enthusiasm for his "crop circle" garden is infectious and we are all working together in our family to make it a success! Below is a picture of our growing garden...I'm so proud of it and look forward to getting lots of produce this summer! Bring on the canning....let the Summer begin!!!!

Uncomfortable!

2011-04-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well, this morning reminded me once again why I HATE any type of tube! This morning Lauren's pump beeped off for me to flush her and when I went in to do so her bed was wet and I noticed that her med port on the j-tube had come undone! I immediately flushed her, closed her med port and started her feeds again. She was extremely pale and when we checked her bloodsugar, it was 32. We were able to rouse her but she was unable to focus or know what was going on around her. Jeff immediately gave her a blessing and I ran for the cake frosting. I couldn't find any at first so I poured some coke and we got it down her. Her bloodsugar didn't come up after a few minutes but went down a little instead...then we remembered the cupcakes...we scraped frosting off of them and Jeff forced her mouth open while we rubbed cake frosting in her cheeks. I was just getting ready to access her and give her D-50 when we checked another BS and it had come up into the 40's. We knew then that she was on her way back up. She was still not responding really well to us but we got her up and walked her to our room and she layed on our bed while I stripped hers and helped her change out of her wet pjs. I was so very frightened! After we saw she was back up to normal and I could take a breath again, I called Dr. Muenzer and told him about the events of the morning. He, like Jeff and I, is desperate to find a solution so this won't happen again. We came so close to losing her again this morning and after things calmed down I went into the bathroom, knelt down and thanked Heavenly Father for looking out for her and for priesthood power that exist in our home. I am thankful that Jeff honors his priesthood and is worthy to give blessings anytime day or night. My comfort level with this tube has gone way down and I will struggle to find a balance again. I will be up all night long checking on her because I will worry! Libbi was over at Momma's house and she came and spent the morning with me and Lauren while everyone else went to church. It was so comforting to me to have her here. I am blessed with a wonderful family. Jeff told me earlier he is more worried about me at this point because I am so stressed out. I know Heavenly Father is watching out for her and for that I am grateful but my mother's heart holds a lot of worry. I will try very hard to turn that fear to faith. I am thankful for the blessings of the gospel. They strengthen me in every way!

Settled!

2011-04-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

Right now our life is somewhat settled and I am loving it!! Sometimes I spend so much time worrying about when the "other shoe" is going to drop that I don't enjoy the peaceful periods in our life; however, right now I am trying to focus on the present and enjoy each day! Lauren is doing amazingly well with the J-tube and her lab work reflects that! She still has migraines but we can't control them when weather fronts decide to come! We just have to work thru them! Michael is doing wonderful and he is happy which makes it great! This is Emily's last year of school and she is really finishing up strong! She takes her compass test on Wednesday to get into Wake Tech and she is going to get her massage therapy license and then continue on to get her degree in physical therapy. It is so great to see her taking control of her future and making plans. She is loving and compassionate and we are so thrilled with the wonderful young woman she is turning out to be! Life is good for her! Jeff is busy and happy at work and I am trying to do some "spring cleaning" to get my house in order! Right now we are enjoying this "peaceful" time and are grateful for the blessings the Lord continues to send into our lives daily. We feel the windows of Heaven opened to us in so many ways! Yes, life is good and I do not take that for granted...ever!!!

General Conference

2011-04-04T14:46:00.001-07:00

Conference week end is always our favorite and we look forward to it twice a year! On those week-ends, we gather our family together, have a late breakfast, spread the blankets around and get comfortable and listen to the wise counsel we receive from our righteous leaders. Jeff always cooks out hamburgers and we make good desserts, Grandma and Gramps come over and we just enjoy being together as a family! It is our chance to take time out of our busy hectic lives and do what matters most. We were blessed this year to have Jacob and Brittany join us for all the sessions of conference and it was so much fun to hear Jacob's thoughts on the different speakers. We watched "Joseph Smith, the Prophet of the Restoration" in between sessions on Sunday and it reminded me of how thankful I am for what he did so I can have the blessings of the gospel today. I always hate for the week-end to end...I am uplifted and determined to try harder to live as Heavenly Father wants me to. I felt even more blessed this week-end as this was the first time in 2 years that my family was together for our tradional conference week-end...the last 2 years, I have been in the hospital with one of the kids and had to watch it on the computer so this was especially nice for me! I am reminded of things I need to do better and re-committed to the things I am already striving to do! There are wonderful blessing all around and I am thankful for a living a prophet to show us the way to make it safely back home!!!

NERVOUS!!!

2011-03-07T08:53:00.001-08:00

Last night a member of our stake presidency called me and asked to me to take the assignment to speak at the Saturday night session of stake conference in 2 weeks! I am so nervous about it but honored to have the opportunity to speak. I will be spending much time praying, pondering and studying the topic I have been assigned! My only hope is that I will be able to have the spirit with me so that I can speak the things the Lord wants them to hear. I am grateful to share my testimony with others and am thankful for the blessings the Lord continues to pour into my life!

Family Update!

2011-01-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

I don't ever send out christmas letters updating everyone on our family but I figured I would do that on the blog so that those that want to know how our family is doing can read it, and those that aren't interested don't have to click and read!!!

Jeff: 2010 proved to be a tough year for him with the economy being so unstable. He left CD Corp back in the spring, did some consulting work and then got a job offer to come back to Constrata in September. In January, he was asked to take the position of Operations Manager and is once again busy doing what he loves to do. It is nice to see him happy and fulfilled at work. He is also busy serving in his calling at church and loves serving the Lord! He keeps us all on track at home and sets a perfect example of Christlike love for us to follow. He is my rock!

Jean: 2010 kept me on an emotional roller coaster with so many changes in our family happening all at once. I spent many hours on my knees asking for divine guidance as we went thru job loss, hospitalizations and keeping our kids on track with school. Heavenly Father's hand has been upon our family though as we never went without a way to meet our obligations, had wonderful doctors taking care of the kids, and everyone is progressing in school as they should. The housework seems to never end and there is always something for me to worry over but 2011 has started with blessings being poured out from above so I am grateful more than anything! I love my family and being a mother and wife is the biggest blessing in my life.

Emily: This is her last year in highschool and I can hardly believe it! It seems like only yesterday when we sent her to kindergarten! Time goes by way too fast! She earned her YW Medallion in the fall of 2010 and we were so proud of all the hard work she did to accomplish it. She serves on the stake YAC and loves being involved with planning and carrying out events. She continues to maintain the highest standards and sets a perfect example for her brother and sister to follow. She is filled with compassion and we are so blessed to be her parents! She strengthens all those around her.

Lauren: 2010 was a very hard year for Lauren! She spent the month of March, the month of August, and half of September, October and most of November in the hospital. She struggled with unrelenting stomach pain and finally at the end of September the doctors discovered that her stomach muscles and nerves had quit functioning. She went thru much testing and finally surgery to place a j-tube to be fed continuously thru. She had some scary moments in the hospital but was well taken care of and loved by the wonderful staff of Nurses at UNC Children's. Her doctors are amazing and fuss over her like she is their own. Since she has been home, she has steadily improved and her faith and testimony of the power of prayer and the priesthood have increased tremendously. She has had courage in the face of fear and overcome all the obstacles that were in front of her. Just this past week we were told that her labs were the best they have ever been. She is clearly being blessed by the Lord. So happy to see her healthy and happy!

Michael: In 2010 he turned 12 and received the Aaronic Priesthood. It was a wonderful blessing for us to see him worthy to hold the priesthood and a blessing to see him pass the sacrament and learn his duties as a deacon! He loves scouting and his happy, optimistic view on life is contageous! He continues to wow us with his ability to write and he loves to read all the time. He gave his first sacrament talk a few weeks ago and blew us away with his understanding of the scriptures! We are blessed to have such a joyful son in our home!

Noah: He is not with us physically but he made his presence known to us this year as he watched over his sister. When she had a medical crisis, he was there to comfort and assure her that all was well! His powerful influence and example in our lives brings us peace and we look forward to the day when we will be reunited with him! So thankful to be an eternal family!

Well, there you have it....the happenings in the Coombs household! We are continually striving to be a little better each day. Sometimes we take great strides forward and sometimes we take baby steps but we are always trying to move closer and closer to the Lord. We are feeling the windows of Heaven opening to our family and the blessings being poured out in great abundance! For that we are more than grateful! We love all of our family and friends and feel extremely blessed to be part of all your lives...you make us better and we are grateful!

Happy New Year 2011!

2011-01-02T16:19:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking over the past year and what goals I had set to see if I actually completed any of them. I did complete a few, which made me happy, and I am determined to do better this year. My goals for this year are as follows:

SPIRITUAL:

1. Read the Book of Mormon 4 times (a yearly goal).

2. Read the Sunday School Lesson each week and ponder it thru the week.

3. Read the Ensign each month.

4. Go to the temple at least twice a month.

5. Fast monthly.

6. Pray Daily!

7. Complete Visiting Teaching each month...100%.

PHYSICAL:

1. Follow the Weight Watcher Plan and journal food intake each week - strive to lose 1 to 2 lbs. a week.

2. Do some type of physical exercise each day working up to 45 minutes a day.

3. Get a proper amount of sleep each day (even if I need to take a nap).

TEMPORAL:

1. Plan healthy meals each week and budget that amount of money.

2. Save at least $5.00 a week.

3. No "spontaneous" spending.

4. Work on building up food storage by buying a storage item each week.

I know these seem like lofty goals but I am determined to reach them. I want to stretch myself this year and work hard to become the best me that I can be. I am thankful for the power of prayer and how it helps me when I feel like I can't reach higher. I am thankful for the blessings that have poured out to us this year and I know the Lord is always aware of my family. I am thankful for His guidance and I know that in this new year, He will continue to guide me and help me be all that I can be! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Lauren's "Reporting" Debut!

2010-12-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

Lauren got the opportunity to report from behind the scenes at the UNC Radio/Telethon this year...since she was already in the hospital, it was easy for her to do! She had a wonderful day and we wanted to share with everyone her reporting experience! We are so proud of her...she did a fabulous job!!!

Missing Noah....

2010-12-07T20:19:00.000-08:00

Last night after Emily put my beautiful white tablecloth on my little table and sat Noah's tree on it, I began to decorate it. For whatever reason, it seemed particularly teary for me this year. With each ornament I hung on his tree the tears welled up more and more inside of me. Every ornament on that tree has some very real signifigance for me and as I looked at each one, I pondered over the person that gave it to him and what memory it brought back to them...there was the little sack of table salt, the golf cart, the camper, the "Cars" cars, the computer, the angel ornaments, the M&M, the toy ones, the white shirt with the missionary tag, and all evoked an emotional response from me but there were two that opened the floodgates...one was a silver one that said "2007" and it had red crystals on it...it had come with a note and it was beautiful and brought me to tears as I read it and remembered that that year will always be one that will only be remembered by me as the year my world turned upside down..then I looked at the red crystals and read the note and it reminded me that Christ will bring Noah back to me..then I smiled. The other were a handful of rainbow colored candycanes that also came with a note..I reread that note after I carefully hung each candycane and the tears came as I thought about Noah's "rainbow shirt" and how much he loved it...I could hardly ever get him to take it off long enough for me to wash it...then I thought about him running around in that shirt and the tears turned to laughter. Every year after I hang those ornaments, I re-read the notes...they are vivid reminders to me of how loved my precious Noah is and how he is still missed by not only me but others as well. Noah's tree is a constant reminder of not only him but of all the love that that tree respresents....it's an expression to me of how his life touched so many others and his memory and his legacy will go on and on and on. I sat down by my little tree last night with all the lights out and only the little "rainbow lights" on his tree shining and my eyes glazed over with tears as I thought about my precious boy....it was quiet in my house and then I looked down at the table where I had set everything up and under the tree was the plaque that was given me last year....it says, "because someone we love is in Heaven, we feel Heaven in our home" and I thought, "yes, that is so very true....he is always near". It was my quiet, reflective time...my time to just spend with Noah...how I miss him. I miss his smile, his laughter, his beautiful brown eyes and his gentle touch. I miss the sound of his voice as he would call my name and his delight over the smallest things. Yes, he is here...he is always near. I know that now more than I have ever known it.....everyone may only see a family of five when they see us but we are most definitely a family of six....he watches over us and although I can't see or hear him, I know he sees and hears me so I know he hears me when I talk to him. Merry Christmas my Noah...you are definitely my angel and will always be.

Thanksgiving/Black Friday!

2010-11-26T20:28:00.000-08:00

I am so VERY VERY GRATEFUL that we were able to come home with Lauren from the hospital on Tuesday and that made for a very Happy Thanksgiving at our house! Since Lauren is now on 24 hour continuous feeds it is making her feel much better and her mother much more nervous...since we came home, I get up every hour or so throughout the night to check the tubing, bloodsugars, add more formula, flush the j-tube and so forth. We have put some safeguards in place and are working on others but in the meantime, I am just so glad to be home in my own environment with my family!!! I ALWAYS go Black Friday shopping with Momma and Emily so even though I am really tired, I still HAD to go! I slipped down one step yesterday (don't even ask me how because I don't know...) and my foot bent in half underneath me. At first it hurt like heck but I thought it would go away and I was determined a few hours later to go ahead with my shopping plan. We left the house at 11 pm on Thursday evening, hit Wal-Mart first then moved onto the other stores and I arrived back at home at 7 am this morning....needless to say my foot was THROBBING and when I took my sock off I knew I had done more damage than I thought! I did, however, get the bargins I went hunting for with the help from the son of a woman I met in line...bless him! It was another fun time (even with the foot pain) and I'm hoping my insistence at going out on Black Friday has not ended up with a broken bone in my foot! I love being home though and so glad my Lauren is feeling better! It's been a long 2 months with lots of emotional rollercoaster ups and downs but this year I cannot be more thankful for my wonderful family and the blessings that are mine...the Lord has blessed us to be home and Lauren to be on the road to recovery! Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!! :)

Emily and I on our way out the door

Shopping in Wal-Mart

My "hero" of the day, Trevor

Waiting in the checkout line

My poor swollen aching foot

Scary

2010-11-06T19:28:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a frightening day for our family! Yesterday morning Lauren's monitor went off at the nurse's station and when the nurse came to check on her, she was unresponsive and not moving! She immediately called a "Code Blue" and I prayed so hard. They were able to get her stablized and made the decision to move her down to the PICU so they could watch her closer. We spent 24 hours down in the PICU and came back up to the room today! I am so thankful for the power of prayer and for the love and support of so many. I don't know how I would have gotten thru this day without my family and friends. Jeff and I are grateful for the power of the priesthood that blesses not only Lauren's life but ours as well. We are thankful for the many prayers and fasting that have and are being offered in Lauren's behalf. We feel the strengthening power of prayer and know that the Lord is in control! It has been a long 2 days but tomorrow we are happy to celebrate Lauren's 16th Birthday! She is a fighter in every sense of the word and I am very thankful!

Settling in....

2010-10-11T09:59:00.000-07:00

Dr. Muenzer came in yesterday and he is pleased with how well Lauren is handling the tube feedings. Her weight and color have improved. She has more energy than she has had in several months and he is pleased with her bloodsugar control at this point; however, he told me that as far as he is concerned, the clock has not even begun to "tick down" as he calls it. He wants her to be able to tolerate the feeding thru the tube during the day and then be able to drink her cornstarch overnight to maintain her bloodsugar levels so that she won't have to have the feeds 24 hours a day. So, as he told me yesterday, once we get to the point where she is on just her feeds during the day (no IV along with it) and taking her normal cornstarch amount overnight, then he wants to watch how well she does for at least a week before they do the surgery to insert the J-tube. That means it will more than likely be another 2 weeks before we get to surgery for the J-tube and then another week or more after the surgery to recover and get back to what her home regimen would be. We will more than likely be here until the 1st week in November if all goes well! Can I just say that we feel like we have moved in! I am already tired and by the end of this visit, I will probably have aged a 100 years....or at least I will feel like I have. The last few days have been an emotional roller coaster for Lauren...she is finally coming to terms with having to be hooked to a pump 15 hours a day and that is frightening to her on so many levels! She is afraid of the J-tube surgery, afraid about the pump itself, afraid that when she drinks the cornstarch again it is going to be more painful that she can tolerate and worried about her health in general. I have watched helplessly as she has struggled to get hold of herself and find her faith but she has done so. Yesterday Jeff and Duane came up and gave her a priesthood blessing which helped her tremendously! I could not help the tears from falling as I watched her sob with her daddy and then I watched Jeff and Duane tenderly talk to her and give her the love, support, and strength that she needed. Duane offered a beautiful prayer before he and Karen left and the spirit in the room was powerful! I witnessed last night the power of prayer and fasting and faith as Lauren got hold of herself and drank her cornstarch without complaint or fear and then was able to go to sleep peacefully! I watched my brave daughter face her fears with profound faith and assurance that all is going to be well. I felt as if angels were watching over her and strengthening her and my own faith was strengthened. Her doctors are working tirelesly in her behalf and between them and the strengthening power of faith, she is improving daily! It is a long road, but we are traveling it with complete trust in the Lord.

Some Better days...

2010-10-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been better.....Lauren is up more and she is going upstairs to the teen room each day which makes me happy. She is consistently doing her physical therapy each day (even though she says it hurts her but I keep reminding her that the more she does it, the stronger she will get physically). Since I am trying to encourage her, I got my exercise DVD tapes up here so I am going to do my "Walk Away the Pounds" up here each morning so she will see me doing something good for me as well. I think it will help relieve the stress I feel as well. So far Lauren is doing very well on the feeds...they are going to go up here again a little today as we continue to work toward a goal of 100 cc/hr. So far she has not had any major diarrhea (which they are concerned about) and now they are watching her blood sugar control...that is a concern if her intestinal feeds will be able to maintain her bloodsugar control but I am choosing to have faith that all of this will work out. Lauren and I are watching conference together up here which is bringing a great spirit into our room. I am thankful for modern technology that allows me to be able to watch conference from anywhere as long as I have a laptop and can get wireless internet. It is truly a blessing for which I am most grateful! So even though we have a ways to go, for right now things are going very well and Lauren is improving everyday. I see the Lord's hand upon her and it gives me great comfort and peace. I don't even have the words of gratitude for everyone who is fasting and praying for her and our family but I do want all of you to know that the Lord is hearing and sending comforting peace and strength to us as quickly as He can. My heart is bursting with gratitude and my love of the Lord is increasing all the time. I am so thankful...so very thankful. I love you all.

Weary.....

2010-09-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

Well, we have now been in the hospital with Lauren a little over a week and will probably be here for at least a few more weeks! My emmotions have been a roller coaster as I have met with her doctors and I have listed to their thought process and their concerns for Lauren. It has been difficult at times for me to hear their concerns but they know that I have to know what road lies ahead. I just have to keep having faith in the Lord and know that He is in control! They have started Lauren on the Nd feeds and are slowly increasing the rate each day! So far things are going okay. She had a good day yesterday and was up and out a lot but last night she was tired and achy and didn't feel well. Her blood sugars were dropping a little more than I wanted to see them so I had them up her rate until I saw them get back up a little. They gave her some muscle relaxants to relax her muscles last night and that seemed to help her fall asleep. She slept peacefully thru the night. I am thankful that things are looking up but I am also cautiously optimistic. Dr. Muenzer said last night that this is going to be a slow process and we will probably be here from 2 more weeks to a month if everything goes as they hope it will. I am continuing to pray for Lauren to be able to tolerate these feeds, for Dr. Muenzer to keep everyone on the same page, for the GI doctors to be directed in how they care for Lauren, and for Jeff and I to have peace and feel the direction of the Lord. This is a difficult period of time we are going thru and I am thankful for the many prayers that are being offered up in behalf of my precious Lauren and our whole family!

Selfless.....

2010-09-24T17:19:00.001-07:00

Even though Lauren is fighting not only a bloodstream infection (which can completely wear you out), she is also battling this horrible stomach pain which is causing her not to be able to eat, yet she went to her nurse the other day (when she was also running a high fever) and told them that she wanted to make me a birthday cake for my birthday. The recreational therapist got involved and this afternoon after Lauren was upstairs in the recreational teen room for a couple of hours (after an exhausting day of testing), she came down carrying this chocolate cake that they had helped her make for my birthday. I was so overwhelmed that I could barely speak without crying....it was one of the most unselfish things Lauren has ever done. As hard as it is for me to be up here on my birthday, to know that even though she doesn't feel good, her heart was thinking of me, made my heart burst. I'm so blessed to have my children and for the joy they bring to my heart! I am so thankful for my little girl who put her needs to the side to try and celebrate this day for me. I love my Lauren!!!

Seeking, Pondering, Praying

2010-09-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes writing is what I do when I feel out of sorts so this is that kind of post. The last few weeks have been challenging not only for Lauren but for us as a family. Jeff and I really thought that bringing Lauren home from the hospital when we did was the right decision to make even though she was still struggling to overcome her stomach pain and eat again. I felt like once I got her home, then she would start eating but that didn't happen. We continued to force what we could down her and I pondered and wondered if we had made the right decision. Each day brought with it a different challenge and on some days it was all we could do to get liquid of any form down her. I fought back feelings of returning to the hospital and even though I accessed her port a cath and kept it accessed because I was worried about her becoming hypoglycemic, I still tried hard to keep her home. But watching her spiral downward was becoming more than I could bear and the emotional toll was weighing heavily on me. Finally this past week-end, I knew we had to do something as she was not making any progress and really going backwards. By Sunday night, Lauren had reached her breaking point. She cried with Jeff and I and told us how she didn't feel like she could continue struggling the way she was...she was exhausted. We talked endlessly to her of the love her Father in Heaven has for her and how He will never leave her to struggle alone. We asked her to pray and ponder and then the Lord would whisper to her what to do to overcome this monumental challenge. Jeff and I both felt helpless and I fled to the bathroom, dropped to my knees and cried many tears to the Lord in behalf of my little girl who was struggling to overcome the mountain that lay in front of her. The next morning I called Dr. Muenzer and he became insistent that she come in but I just didn't know if I could take another hospital visit. I began to pray and ponder then I turned to my family and friends and asked for their prayers in our behalf. We all felt like we had come to the end of our road and were hitting a brick wall. I felt defeated and alone....when Jeff and I talked, we both were unclear about what to do but we decided that if we trusted Dr. Muenzer then we had to follow his recommendations to us....I didn't sleep well Monday night because I replayed over and over in my mind what having a tube of any kind down Lauren might mean. It made me physcially sick and I prayed for strength to overcome my great fears. Jeff and I were both awake early yesterday morning and we talked for a while. I felt some peace return to me in his arms and I knew that whatever else, we had to do what was best for Lauren. She needed us to be strong for her and help her. Dr. Muenzer called me early Tuesday morning to tell me that they had a room for Lauren and she needed to come in. I got up and took a shower feeling a heavy weight on me and then I got a phone call from Becky...she asked me for Kim's number and said that she wanted to hold a 30 day fast for Lauren. She would get Kim to organize my family to fast each day and then our other friends would fill up the rest. She reminded me that we were not walking this road alone and that Heavenly Father would answer our pleas. It brought me to tears and I knelt in prayer with an overwhelming feeling of graititude in my heart. As I was packing to come, Lauren woke up from a nap and had fever....I knew then in my heart that coming back to the hospital was the right thing. I was so tired coming back in and the nurses up here on 6childrens were so overwhelmingly loving and kind. They have a deep love for Lauren and they knew how stressful things have been for our family. I was grateful for their love and compassion....they definitely make these hospital visits easier to deal with. We found out today that Lauren does have an infection in her bloodstream and they are running all kinds of IV antibiotics to her. It is a wrinkle in our plan but we will deal with it. It has definitely made my 4 or 5 day hospital stay turn into a 2 week minimum hospital stay...I'm not thrilled about that but definitely glad we are able to treat it. I'm not looking foward to them putting down an ng tube or having to do any kind of permanent tube...that is very difficult for me but the Lord is helping me to overcome that as I need to have Lauren better and whatever that takes, that is what we will do. I know the Lord hears our prayers and I pray he forgives my slackness at times because lately I have been more tired than normal and I need to work harder at doing all I can to live the gospel. Dr. Muenzer told me this afternoon that we are still facing an uphill battle and we are far from over but at least right now I feel the Lord's strengthening hand in my life and I know it is coming because of the multitude of prayers being offered in behalf of my family. There is no way I can possibly thank everyone for their love and support. I only hope they all know how much it means to me to have a wonderful family and fantastic friends whose love and support I could not live without. They make all our challenges easier because we know we do not walk alone.

Back to Normal???

2010-09-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

Well, this week has been my week to get my act together and try to get our family back on a "normal" schedule. This last month our whole life seems to have been tumbling upside down and I have not been able to keep it all under control...BUT...this week, I was determined to get things together (in my mind at least) so I made a plan...I love to make a plan because at least I FEEL like I am doing something productive. Each day I decided to do a little something to get us back on track. Jeff started his new job this week, Emily gets up before dawn and goes to seminary so I put my "plan" to get things organized into action. I sat for several hours on Monday at the computer putting my lesson plans for the school year into a calendar format so I would know what we would need to accomplish each day. I cleaned the kitchen, the bathrooms, the laundry room, caught up the laundry and gave my kids a list of things to accomplish, studied for my seminary class and taught it on Wednesday evening (even though Lauren was the only one who came so we made Michael participate..hehe)! I even managed to get Lauren to sit with me while we cleaned up her "art space" (a HUGE accomplishment) so I was feeling like life was getting back to normal and then today hit and it reminded me what our "normal" is....I fixed breakfast and actually got Lauren to eat some grits (her favorite breakfast food) but they didn't stay down but a few minutes...that started us on a downward bloodsugar spiral that ended up with me accessing her port and praying that we would not be going to the hospital yet again! After I watched her closely for hours and checked umpteen bloodsugars all while doing school with Emily and Michael, finding time to do the laundry, keep the house in order, check in with Dr. Muenzer to give him an update on Lauren and beg him to let me watch her at home, "listen" to my scriptures while I ironed some clothes, cook dinner and send Jeff off to do something for one of home/visiting teaching families, I sat down and realized that this is what normal is to us and I might as well just enjoy it..haha! I still have more studying to do to prepare for seminary next week and I am up late waiting to give cornstarch but my prayers tonight were full of thanksgiving...for Jeff having a good job, for Lauren being able to maintain her bloodsugar control, for having the energy to clean my house, cook dinner, do homeschooling and for the opportunity to serve another person. My life may not be what other people consider "normal" but it sure is wonderful to me and I am thankful for my "abbynormal" (as Jeff calls it) life! It constantly reminds me of my dependence on the Lord and for that I am extremely grateful!!! :)

Thankful!!!

2010-09-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

As I write this my eyes are watering because I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for answers to my prayers. I wonder sometimes why we aren't given things immediately when we pray for them but I do know that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and answers them in His wisdom and timing. This past week, I have been so discouraged that even when I turned to my scriptures, even though they gave me peace, I didn't see how we were going to survive yet another downturn in our economic situation. Jeff and I sat in the temple together and we prayed together, as a family, and individually for direction and for a way to open up. There just seemed to be nothing...and then out of nowhere, Jeff's old boss called him and wanted to talk...Jeff went and today he sent Jeff an e-mail that they want to hire him back. He will be going to talk with Bruce on Monday. It isn't the perfect scenario but it surely is a huge blessing for us at this point in our lives and I could not be more grateful to Heavenly Father for lighting a path that seemed so dark just a few days ago. I know that if we just keep having faith, even when that faith seems so weak, that Heavenly Father will bless and sustain us. I know that as we continue in faith, the Lord will pour out his blessings upon us and we will feel the windows of Heaven continue to open. My heart is full of gratitude. Thank you all for your prayers in our behalf...once again, the Lord has never let us down...my testimony of His ultimate power continues to grow! I know this job came as a result of many prayers and much faith! I am very thankful!!!

Home at last!

2010-09-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know who reads my blog that we are finally home from the hospital. After praying and pondering about what to do, Jeff and I sat down with the doctors and we made a really hard push to get Lauren home. I was a little worried at first that I might be pushing her too hard but everytime I prayed, I felt that it was right so we forged ahead, and with relatively no problems (which the doctors were sure we were going to encounter), we were out of the hospital within 24 hours of our decision to make a big push! Jeff and I were pleasantly surprised on Sunday afternoon when Lauren started eating "real" food again and she has done amazingly well! She is regaining her strength and we can tell the Lord is blessing her in many ways. I am so thankful for the power of prayer and that when I really stop and listen, the Lord allows me to feel my decisions regarding her are right. Jeff and I stood united with the doctors and felt strengthened as we worked together on the right plan. Thank you all for your prayers and love. We have felt them very strongly and appreciate your continued support of our family! So glad to be home and getting somewhat back to normal!!!

Accupuncture!!!!

2010-08-30T16:49:00.001-07:00

Well, we are trying an unconventional method that I have done some research about to help pain...mostly they do it for headache pain (which Lauren always has even when it gets better). So, I found out that UNC has a Certified Accupuncturist on staff and they consulted him at my request to come see Lauren. He came today and put those little itty bitty needles in her head, on her shoulders, her feet and all over her stomach! He left them there for 30 minutes and had her rest quietly. After 30 minutes, he took them off and asked her how she felt. She told him that her head and shoulder pain were GONE!! Oh yay!! It didn't work with her stomach pain but he said he wants to bring her some kind of herbal supplement and mabye do another treatment on Wednesday!!! Anyway...it was worth at least trying so I was happy to have Dr. Chen take a poke at her! She was really good about it....he wants to see if it keeps her head pain away so we'll find out! At least we have one issue resolved this time around!!! I wonder if they have accupuncture for fat people...maybe it would make me not want to eat....oh wait, I think that is hypnosis or an even better idea would be to just stop eating..hahahahaha! Oh well, can you tell I am tired?????? Here is a picture below of Lauren getting her treatment...

TIRED!!!

2010-08-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been very tiring for me. Although Lauren's head pain is much better, her stomach pain is fierce and unrelenting. The last several nights she has not been able to sleep thru the night because of the pain and so we both have had very restless nights. It has been a difficult several days. Yesterday, Brother Smith came up and extended me a calling from the stake as a seminary teacher. Although I am excited to teach, I am more than overwhelmed at the huge responsibility it is and wondering how I am ever going to get it all done with all that we have on our plate already. I am very overtired so it doesn't take much to push me over the top right now emotionally. In fact, Dr. Muenzer came in this morning with Dr. Muge and the other doctor (can't remember her name) that is following them and I burst into tears. I love them because they know how exhausting both physically and mentally it can be for us up here. Dr. Muge is taking over for Dr. Muenzer and she has some more ideas that she thinks may help Lauren in the long run. They have called in the "Pediatric Pain Team" and they have put her on a "pain pump" that she can push every 10 minutes and will give her a controlled amount of pain medication over the next 24 hours so they can see how much she needs. Tomorrow afternoon they will then take that information and transfer that to a "pain patch" which will give her a controlled dose throughout the day. Because Lauren has "chronic pain", they are going to work with her to find a way to control her pain and get her better at home as well! Her "attending" doctor this week is wonderful and I got a really good feeling talking to him. He is talking with Dr. Muge and together they will all work to come up with a good plan for Lauren. Dr. Meyer came up this afternoon to visit with her and we all feel like we are now on the same page. I am just really tired and want to get Lauren better! I am hoping that we won't be here for another month! Please pray for our family that other areas of our life will also be resolved as we press forward with faith! I feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders right now....I know we will get thru this time, it is just a lot right now!!! I continue to pray for more faith and trust in the Lord! Thanks everyone for your love and prayers! I love you all!!

Hospitalitis....

2010-08-21T16:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get what I like to call hospitalitis....it's a condition I always get when I have been in the hospital for more than 10 days and the end doesn't look close! I KNOW that Lauren will get better and things always improve but the waiting for her to take that corner is often wearing and frustrating. It hasn't helped this visit that I have had to come up against yet another "hospitalist" (doctor that works for the hospital) who thinks he knows more than Dr. Muenzer and can figure out how to "fix" her. When he realizes that she is more complicated that he believed, then he gets frustrated and tends to take that frustration out on her and then I HAVE to get involved and set him straight. I try so hard to be kind, patient, understanding, and flexible but when it comes to her healthcare I will not allow anyone to do anything I feel in my heart is wrong for her. I also don't let another doctor override anything Dr. Muenzer says. Sometimes I get tired of fighting this fight but in the end I am always grateful for the help I recieve when I pray and ask for guidance in making correct decisions in dealing with Lauren. She is making VERY SLOW progress ... her headaches have improved greatly and now we are dealing with her stomach pain which is always a huge issue! I worry about the medications that they are giving her to help her pain...I know they are helping but I don't want her to get dependent on them or them to cause more problems in the long run (there is always something for me to worry over....). Dr. Muenzer doesn't want me to worry about it and he wants her to be comfortable while trying to get over this cycle but I still worry about it. So, that is where we are...trying to get thru yet another long and difficult stay. I am always thankful for the wonderful nurses here who make our stays easier to deal with. They treat us like family and so for that I am always thankful!! Life is just pretty stressful now and unfortunately we are getting used to living with a certain amount of stress! I'm just ready to be home with my family and so is Lauren! In the end, it will all work out (or at least I keep telling myself that over and over and over again!!!)

Hospital.....again....

2010-08-16T14:04:00.000-07:00

I hadn't decided whether or not I was going to write a post about yet another hospital visit but this is my blog where I get to speak out about things in my life so I'm gonna go ahead and update...first off, we came in last Tuesday because after a week of unrelenting pain in Lauren's head and stomach with her blood sugars all over the map, we called Dr. Muenzer and he insisted we come in and have Lauren admitted. I am always prepared for a longer stay than I hope and it is turning out that this stay isn't going to be any different than the last ones. I am trying not to get frustrated but it gets hard sometimes. Lauren's blood work is not terrible but there are some things in it that make the doctors notice...her liver enzymes were elevated when she came in so they redid them this morning and they are a little bit higher. Because of that, they are going to draw some blood and make sure she doesn't have some kind of viral hepatitis going on or something (I'm praying that it won't be yet another thing). They are also concerned since she hasn't eaten anything since last Tuesday. She drinks water but every time she eats, she says that it hurts her stomach and she feels nauseous. They have a different medication they are going to put her on every 6 hours that is supposed to quell nausea and increase appetite. So....we are going to try and get her to take small sips of Boost and they may (much to my trepidation) put an ng tube down and run some liquid food to her to see if her stomach can tolerate small amounts. Jeff and I are still really unsure about that and Dr. Muenzer told me that if I didn't (or Lauren couldn't) want to do it that way, then they would have to go with TPN (nutrition thru the IV....which comes with it's own set of side effects) so I am unclear about which way to go. Just the thought of an ng tube is unsettling to me but it would be in a controlled environment with the IV running to maintain her blood sugar levels. The dhe protocol that has worked at times in the past for Lauren's migraines doesn't seem to be working this time so they will stop that tomorrow and they may try her on magnesium and caffeine thru the IV...once again, don't know if it will work but they want to try it! All of this guessing and trial and error, although I understand at times is necessary to try and find a solution, is wearing and frustrating. I'm trying to remain positive and upbeat and remember President Hinckley's counsel that "it will all work out." I just keep having to say that over and over and over.......

Michael's Special Day

2010-08-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a special day in our family as Michael turned 12! He was ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood this past Sunday by his dad. I switched between two emotions this day..I was so happy to see Michael be worthy to receive the priesthood and to see his dad be able to bless him and ordain him which brought tears as I watched Jeff place his hands on Michael's head and saw both their faces...I also knew that Noah was surely present at the important step in Michael's life. My second emotion also brought tears as I thought that I would no longer have children in primary and how my kids were growing up way too fast! Overall it was a very happy day and I was grateful that Gramps and Grandma along with Aunt Libbi and her family could be there to witness Michael's advancement. I am grateful and humbled by my son's obedient nature and his prepardness to advance to the Aaronic Priesthood. I know how hard he has worked to complete his Faith in God and how he is worthy in every way! I am thankful for the gospel and I am especially grateful to now say that I have 2 priesthood holders in my home, both who carry their responsibilities with honor!

My Superheroes!!!

2010-07-27T21:14:00.001-07:00

July 28th....a very special day for me!! Twice on this day I have been blessed with an adorable little boy!!! In 1998 the Lord sent to our family a chubby, happy, exhuberant little boy named Michael who brought laughter and joy wherever he went. His big grin that lit up his whole face was a delight to everyone that encountered him and today as he turns 12 and prepares to receive the priesthood he carries that same face splitting, eye squinting grin and has the most tender and pure spirit. He brings love and laughter into our home everyday and I could not be more proud to be his mom! He is pure delight and brings me great joy every single day! He is a super hero to me because he teaches me about how to find joy in all things! Happy Birthday Mikey...I love you!
In 2001 the Lord again blessed me on this day with my precious baby, Noah! He came here quickly and his pure and gentle spirit touched everyone he came in contact with. His big brown eyes could melt your heart in a second and as he would climb up in my lap and snuggle with his hand on my cheek, all my worries would fade away. His sweetness could calm my worries as he placed his hand in mine and his determination to have everything done correctly taught me much about order in a chaotic world. He was taken from me too soon and I miss his big smile! He was a superhero to me because he taught me how to prioritize my time and put the most important things first. Today he looks at me from the other side of the veil and I feel him ever near. Happy Birthday Noah....I miss you and I love you!
So today I celebrate the lives of these two wonderful little boys who brought to our home many blessings that we feel everyday. We are grateful for these, our super heroes in everyway...they bless our lives with their examples and we are happy to be doubly blessed on this the 28th day of July! We are very thankful! Happy Birthday my precious, precious boys!!!

Vacation 2010

2010-07-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

We had a good time on our annual retreat to Lakewood Campground! I was going to upload pictures but for whatever reason it isn't working so this post will have to do without pictures...sorry! I did put an album on facebook though so if you have a facebook account, you can see them there..haha! As always we enjoyed getting visits from my extended family and I got to see my brother, sisters, parents, some of my nieces and nephews and the Bailey great neices and nephews...it was so much fun! Libbi and the twins came and stayed 3 days with us and we really enjoyed them so much! Michael loved having Connor to pal around with and Sarab Beth had a great time with Lauren and Emily! Libbi made me laugh and I got to ride around in the golf cart (even in the rain) and enjoy talking and talking and talking! Momma and Nathan spent the week with Kim but came and spent several days with us! Daddy and Dibbie came and even brought BoJo to visit with us (Puglsie was really curious about BoJo...haha)! I enjoyed each visit and was happy to have everyone come and make our vacation special again this year. It was a very rough year for me this year on the anniversary of Noah's death and I was very grateful that the Bailey's came to visit and entertain us that day! Sending up balloons for Noah is so important to me and Kim came and brought his favorite smiley face balloons for us to release in his memory. I am thankful for her thoughtfulness and for being able to remember my precious baby on that day that brings so many tears to me. The wonderful ocean breeze and salt air was like a balm to my soul. I am thankful that we get to spend 2 weeks each year at the beach....especially during this time of the year....it is my oasis from the stresses of everyday life and I come home grateful for my wonderful family and for the joy they bring to me!

Spray Tan!

2010-06-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

We are leaving for the beach in 2 days and I wanted to go to the beach looking like I had somewhat of a suntan and I am so fair skinned that I burn easily so I decided to get a spray tan! I got it done professionally yesterday and I LOVE IT!! It is pefect and I will feel like I have been at the beach all summer! I recommend it to anyone who does not want to get out in the sun or who doesn't tan well! Yes, I know some of you think it is frivilous and crazy but it sure made me feel better going to the beach! I can't lost 150 pounds in 2 days but I at least can tan all this fat so it will look better...hahahaha!!! Oh well....here is a picture so at least you can get a glimpse of my great tan...I am very happy!!! And now, I can't wait to get to the beach!! ;)

Counting down the days.....

2010-06-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

We have had our share of stress over the last couple of months, so I am looking forward to our yearly trek to Lakewood Campground, my "get away from the world and the noise" place that allows me to sit back, relax, soak up the sun, and spend time completely enjoying my family in a very unrushed atmosphere! So...we are now on the countdown and I am praying that everyone will stay well and healthy and all will be well so we can enjoy our 2 weeks at the beach!!!

Missionary work!

2010-05-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

So...this morning I woke up with a million things on my mind....totally forgetting that Callie and I (we are the ward missionaries) had scheduled an appointment with a young girl who has just gotten baptized in our ward to start the new member discussions. I jumped in the shower to get ready to go for Momma to come get me to get Lauren's blood drawn and in walks Callie at the same time as Momma....that is when I remembered!!!! So, long story short, Callie ends up running Lauren and I to the lab to get her blood drawn and then Callie and I went to our appointment. I felt so close to tears because I had not remembered the appointment with everything else going on this week and had not had a chance to even look at the "Preach My Gospel" book so I just grabbed my scriptures and prayed for the Lord's spirit to be with me. Before we went in, Callie and I had a prayer and asked the Lord to be with us since it had been a long time since we were missionaries! It felt so good to talk about the Plan of Salvation and the Restoration! Even though it had been a long time since I had done any type of "missionary work", the spirit that I felt today was the same as it always was. It was sweet and strong and brought me to tears. I forget how much I love to share the gospel with others! The Lord will always help us (even when we are totally unprepared like I was today) if we are willing. It also reminded me of how important it is to read my scriptures everyday so that I am always ready to share the gospel message! I love being a ward missionary...not only do I get to help other people in the ward get excited about missionary work, I also get to go into new members homes and share the beauty of the gospel plan in greater depth! I love seeing their face light up and feeling the spirit as it testifies of gospel principles. I also love seeing the joy new members have as they embrace the beauty of the gospel in their lives and love to hear them share their growing testimonies! So even with all the confusion this morning, I am thankful that the Lord's spirit touched our hearts and helped us bring the spirit with us....it has made for a great day!

Temperate!

2010-05-17T19:06:00.001-07:00

I have been so down the last few days....I have been focusing more on the challenges that we have and less on the great blessings that have (and are) being poured out on my family. I pondered that today and then went to my Heavenly Father in prayer....I asked for His forgiveness and prayed for the ability to focus once again on what I have and not on what I don't. I have been reading in the Book of Alma lately in the BOM and I have consistently had one word stand out at me over and over...it is "temperate". I looked it up and have read all the scriptures associated with that word...it's something I want to be, something I am not...I want to be steady and serene...calm, unwavering, conistently obedient, even keel. I like that word, in fact I love that word....I am trying hard to be more temperate in my life, with my children, in the gospel, in my marriage.

I have the opporutnity to go to the temple each Friday with a friend of mine and I love it. I listen carefully when I sit inside those walls and I come away pondering my ability to be temperate in all things....because I have been pondering so much on that word lately, I decided to do a FHE on this subject so tonight in FHE we talked about the 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins and how we can continually fill our lamps with oil. I asked the kids to each draw a picture of an oil lamp and write at the top "Drop by Drop" and that would remind them of President Kimball's counsel to us that each thing we do such as saying our daily prayers, reading our scriptures, attending sacrament, being kind, serving others, etc. added daily to our oil lamps and increased our desire to be like Christ. If we keep in the front of our minds the little things that increase our faith and we do them consistently then we will be like the wise virgins. I have thought about people in my life that are consistently obedient and I am grateful for their examples...I have learned so much.

I know it may seem like that lesson didn't go with my word, temperate...but it did because the five wise virgins were temperate in all things...they were faithful, diligent, consistently obedient, and prepared. I am trying so hard to learn this one principle in my life...if I can become "temperate in all things" as it says in Alma 7:23: "And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive."
I know that the Lord wants us to be temperate and that is what I am trying so very hard to do now...the more I read and study, the more I realize I need to be better. Going weekly to the temple, reading daily in my scriptures, praying in private, in my family and always in my heart keep in the forefront of my mind how dependent I am on the Lord and His mercy and grace. I am thankful for my blessings and I will strive harder and harder to be temperate, to be grateful, and to always realize that I can be better each day. I will fill my lamp drop by drop each day with the Lord's help. I pray we all will!

Mothers Day 2010

2010-05-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

This has been a wonderful mothers day week-end! On Saturday, we spent most of the day running around getting everything for the mothers at church and I enjoyed spending all that quality time with Jeff! Jeff is grilling out steaks for dinner today and we are having baked potatoes and salad along with a yummy strawberry trifle dessert. Below are some pictures of our day...I love all the mothers in my life and am grateful for their influence...I am especially grateful for my own wonderful mother!!! I am also grateful for my wonderful children who have brought me more joy than I can put into words! Happy Mothers Day!

Jeff getting the steaks ready for the grill!

Jean with my yellow corsage Jeff brought me to remind me of Noah and my picture of my baby!

Michael's Hospital Visit!

2010-05-03T18:04:00.000-07:00

Last week turned out to be a very eventful week at our house! Last Monday, I went to flush Michael's port a cath (like I do every month) and it would not flush! I pushed a little harder...nothing...so I took out the needle and called Dr. Muenzer. He quickly got us in touch with the surgical nurse and we made a trip over to their clinic that same day. They tried to flush it, no luck so they put some medicine in it to try and help...nothing! The next day we made arrangements to have Michael come over to UNC Children's on Thursday evening and they would do the surgery to take the old one out and put the new one in on Friday. The surgery lasted a little over an hour and when Michael got back up to the room, they checked his blood sugar and it was 44....uh oh..that was a little scary but I quickly got them to get him some coke and he ate pretzels, it came up, the IV came out and we got him quickly under control...I will have to go the recovery room the next time (Jeff lost his recovery room duty..haha)! Anyway, Michael's bloodsugars stayed up and we were able to bring him home that afternoon! He is still recovering...taking it easy as they had to root around and fix some scarring before they could put it a new port so the site is bruised and tender still but other than that, he is great as you can see from the picture! We are grateful for the prayers in his behalf and are very glad that all is now well! We never know what is going to happen from one week to the next around here so we are always on our toes! We are hoping for a very uneventful summer unless the event is Jeff getting a permanent job with great benefits...that would be perfect! Other than that, we are happy and moving forward with faith!!

Fun Day!!

2010-04-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I went to the "Measures of Faith" Food Drive and 5k Fun Run today! We had a good time and I was happy that I walked it in 63 minutes (that was a 21 minute mile...I was hoping for a 20 minute mile but...)! We had a great time and my wonderful friend, Jane, after running the course in 30 minutes, walked back to meet me and walked the rest of the way with me...she even gave me the courage to jog across the finish line! I love my wonderful encouraging friends and my fabulous husband who didn't even break a sweat and walked the whole way with me (bad knees and all..hehe)! I am now nursing two REALLY BIG blisters on the bottom of my feet but it was so much fun and I loved seeing all my friends from the stake!!! It is a great day to give service to the Food Bank of NC and fellowship with lots of others who share my same values and love of service! Jeff and I left from there and went to my friend, Jackie's house to help her get ready for her son's wedding next week! We were happy to do a few things that she wanted to get done! Jeff is now taking a shower to get ready to go to a baptism and I am going to put my feet up since walking on them with these blisters is extremely painful...I may try to go to the baptism anyway!! It has been a great day and it reminds me again of how much fun it is to serve others....I think we are happiest when we can do for others!!! Life is good!!!

Very Thankful!

2010-04-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

It is with a very thankful heart that I write this post. Yesterday, Jeff was able to get a contract job that can last as long as the end of the year or until he finds a more permanent job or it could possibly turn into a permanent job. Either way...we feel very grateful for the blessing of the Lord on our family. My heart has been full of prayers and I have spent much time in the temple, reading my scriptures and pondering. Jeff has remained full of faith and has believed this whole time that the Lord is leading us along and He is always with us. We are so grateful for the many friends and family who have been praying with us and are immensely grateful for the love we have felt from so many. We are blessed beyond what I can even comprehend at times. The Lord is pouring out blessings from Heaven to us not only temporally but spiritually as well. Jeff and I both have felt a great deal of strength and we know that we are being lifted and carried thru each challenge that we face. The Lord has blessed us so much and all I can be is thankful! I have a testimony of the power of prayer to lift and help us when we face difficult times and I know that as long as we remain faithful and obedient to what we know to be true while consistently repenting of our mistakes along the way that the Lord will lead us along and help us thru our journey here! I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven and His all powerful hand that holds us up and helps us here on earth. I am not only thankful but humbled by His love and mercy to me and my family. I will continually strive harder to please Him and live more obediently His commandments.

Great Week-end!!!!

2010-04-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

This has been the greatest week-end! Kim and Jerry and David came up this past Wednesday and stayed thru the week-end. We have had such a good time getting the chance to visit with them. On Friday, Jeff and I went to the temple with Momma, Nathan, Kim and Jerry! It was so wonderful to get to be in a session with my family. Afterwards Kim and Jerry treated us out to lunch and we got to spend a great afternoon! Yesterday and today we had the privilege of watching all the sessions of general conference. I have come away from this conference so uplifted and so determined to be better and try harder! I am thankful for all the messages that spoke of the Lord's love for us and how to better strengthen our families. I am thankful for the messages of hope and faith to help us when we face challenges and how to manuever thru difficult times in our life. I loved the closing remarks of President Monson when he quoted one of my favorite scriptures...."Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
I can't think of a better way to sum up all that was said in this conference! I love the words of our beloved prophet! His counsel to look to the Lord and his light as we face the crumbling morality of the world around us gave me courage! It has been a wonderful week-end full of good counsel and I feel like I can face the future with faith and hope. I loved being able to spend this time with my family and I know that the Lord is in control! What a great way to start a new week!!! Happy Easter everyone!!!

Gratitude and Stress!!!!

2010-04-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all, I am grateful that we are finally home after 32 days in the hospital. I am so glad that Lauren is feeling better and that she was able to overcome her stomach pain. Many prayers were sent up in her behalf and they were all answered. We are grateful for each one. Now, we face yet another challenge....Jeff is once again faced with unemployment. The economy has hit his industry particularly hard and rebounding from it has been extremely difficult. Jeff is blessed with many talents and abilities and the Lord continues to bless him as he uses his talents for good so it is very hard for me to watch him once again struggling to find a good job that appreciates his talent and ability. He has had so much to shoulder in the last few years that my heart aches to see us once again face another uphill climb! I am trying to face the future with faith and complete trust in the Lord but I am finding it hard this time around. We are going to the temple tomorrow and I am hoping that I can sit in that beautiful house of the Lord and find the strength that I feel is lacking in myself right now...it is so important to me right now to get to the temple...in every stressful situation in my life in recent years I have gone there to find my center and to strengthen my faith when it feels like I am faltering so tomorrow I will sit within those walls and I will ask the Lord to strengthen my family and give me courage to face our very uncertain future. I am looking forward to general conference this week-end. It will be a boost to me as I listen to our prophet and the general authorities remind me where to find my faith and I will be strengthened. I know that the Lord is aware of my family and I know that He will not leave us alone....He is always there. I also know His promises are sure. Faith, I have to remember, is an action word!

Faith!

2010-03-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been thinking and pondering what faith really is...does it mean that if we have have faith then everything that we pray for will be answered the way that we hope it will? I would like to say yes, that is it, but it's not. Faith is an action word I am finding. President Henry B. Eyring said one time in a talk..."great faith has a short shelf life" so I figure in order to keep "great faith", we have to work on it all the time. I think sometimes when we pray for more faith (as I have been doing lately) that Heavenly Father allows us to have experiences with which we are asked to exercise faith, even when the challenges seem insurmountable and it takes a huge amount of faith to go forward, to gain "great faith". I also read a talk to today by Elder Jeffrey Holland entitled Remember Lot's Wife....I recommend it to everyone, anyway, he says in his talk when he talks about Lot's wife, " She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she had." He also said that "faith is always pointed to the future." So, with that in mind, I have thought that if we show faith in Heavenly Father and His ability to give us better than what we have, even when the future that we can see is scary and uncertain, and even bleak, then we will stretch and grow and expand our limited ability to understand and we will gain "great faith"! That is what I have decided to do...I prayed for more faith, for more strength and Heavenly Father is allowing me to stretch and grow and expand my faith and thru all this stretching and growing and expanding, I will gain strength because I will exercise all the spiritual muscles that I have to stand up in the face of overwhelming challenges and say, I know where my strength lies....and "I CAN DO ALL THINGS thru Christ who strengtheneth me"....and that is what the bottom line is for me....all I have is my faith and I will not abandon it for if I show Heavenly Father that I trust him and I will follow Him, then He will take my little faith and turn it into "great faith". So what I have learned about faith is this...to believe and trust that Heavenly Father has not nor will ever leave us alone, and we have to exercise faith to help it grow. Experiences that are hard give us those opportunities to exercise that faith so I pray that I will rise to the challenges that we now face in our family. Jeff and I are united in our belief that the Lord is in control and He will lead us where we need to be...the road may be narrow, rocky, and hard but we will walk it hand in hand and not look back, because "great faith" always points to the future!

Pondering

2010-03-10T09:16:00.000-08:00

Sitting up in the hospital gives me a lot of time to ponder....I don't spend as much time watching the tv or even with it on as I used to. I read my scriptures and I am right now reading a book entitled, "Be not Afraid"....that phrase always reminds me of Noah's favorite picture that we used to look at during sacrament. Even thinking about those days brings me to tears but as I have been reading this book, it reminds me that we are never alone even when we may feel so. It is reminding me that the Lord is always mindful of us, he always listens to our prayers and He knows our hearts. I sometimes feel helpless when I see Lauren struggling thru pain that no one can really resolve and she has to pull it together and learn to deal with it. I watch helplessly as she looks at me with those pleading eyes of hers and I read to her from the Book of Mormon and I go into the bathroom and kneel and pray for her relief and ask the Lord to comfort her in the way only He can. I call Jeff and he reassures me that the Lord is in control and all will be well. I wait for her to make that turn and feel better and I tell her it is just around the corner. Then I watch as she finds her courage and strength and she rises above the pain and finds a place to put her pain so she can deal with it again and the tears come because I know the Lord is helping her go forward....the doctors and nurses don't understand what I do about Lauren...they don't understand that her inner strength comes from her Father in Heaven..they don't appreciate that when she struggles with her own physcial limitations and breaks down that when she turns to Heavenly Father, her strength returns and her ability to cope comes back. They don't understand her burning testimony of a loving Father in Heaven and His ability to heal her. I know these things, I remind her of these things and then we go forward and she pushes thru. She is strong, courageous, faithful, and she rises above her physical challenges. I am proud of her strength, of her courage, and of her ability to stand up in the face of overwhelming challenges and fight back. I love her determination and it strengthens my own. I love my children and my devoted husband....at home they continue to keep things going and they kneel together and pray for our family and they give me courage. I never worry when I am up at the hospital because I know at home that they are strong and they continue to do what is right. I feel the Lord's hand in my life everyday...I try hard everyday to acknowledge His blessings in my family's life and in my own. I try all the time to see the silver linings and to know, that no matter what, He is in control and He does what is best for me and my family. If I continue to put my complete trust and faith in Him and am obedient to His commandments then, as President Hinckley used to say, "it will all work out." I like having time to ponder, it reminds me of the great blessings that pour into my life all the time and it gives me time to thank my Heavenly Father for them....I am always reminded that the Lord does not give us stones, He gives us bread and I am grateful for every kind He sends my way for they all fill me with a stronger desire to live as He would have me to.

Another Hospital Stay!

2010-03-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are again at UNC Children's Hospital. We came to WakeMed around 5 am on Sunday morning because Lauren could not maintain her blood sugar levels and we couldn't figure out why. They ran bloodwork on her and when they came back, they were all whacked out and her white blood cell count was dangerously low (which means she was susceptible to anything that was out there)! Late that night, they came in and told me that her blood culture came back positive which meant she had an infection in her port a cath line that had gotten into her blood stream which explained why her labwork was so bad. They immediately started her on IV antibiotics and 24 hours later they ran another set of labs and they looked a lot better. We transferred over to UNC Childrens the next night as we knew this was going to be a 2 week hospital stay and we wanted to be where Lauren's doctors are. We were blessed to get the big corner room with lots of space so that made Mom happy as well. While we are here they are also doing her dhe treatment to get her migraines under control and checking out Lauren's nutrition labs as she continues to lose weight and she cannot afford to lose any. We are working hard to correct that. All in all, things are going well and we are happy to have wonderful doctors who look after Lauren and take care of any issues that arise. Below is a picture of my sleeping beauty with her mask on. She wears that when she has a headache and doesn't feel well to block out any light. She is a much loved young woman over here at UNC and we feel the Lord's blessings on our family greatly. We are thankful for the many prayers in our behalf and all the support we get. We are a truly blessed family and have much to be grateful for! Thank you all for loving Lauren like you do..she feels your love and support and it means the world to her!

A visit from Daddy Tom and DeeDee

2010-02-26T03:17:00.001-08:00

We had SO MUCH FUN with Daddy Tom and DeeDee.....they came to spend a night with us and we laughed the whole night....Daddy Tom showed off his competitive side when we played a game of rummy.....I came SO CLOSE to beating his this time but once again he maintains his champion status.....grrrrrr! Maybe next time!!! Enjoy our pictures from their short visit.....

Michael learning the game from Daddy Tom

Emily and Lauren showing off their baseball skills on the Wii

Pugslie giving out tons of "kisses"...she loved Daddy Tom and DeeDee
DeeDee relaxing on the couch

Our Rummy game.....too fun!

Happy Anniversary to my Sweetheart!

2010-02-13T17:31:00.001-08:00

Jeff and I were married 18 years ago on Valentines Day in the Washington DC Temple! This week-end has been so appropriate with the snow as there was snow falling the day we got married. All I can say is this has been the happiest 18 years of my life and Jeff is my sweetheart, my rock, an incredible father, extremely patient, and the love of my life! I am looking forward to spending many more years making memories with my incredible husband! Aren't I so blessed???

ANOTHER Snow Day....

2010-02-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

We had another chance to have fun in the snow as we got about 3 inches over night last night! This was a great snow for making snowballs and snowmen and the kids had a ball outside putting together a big snowman in the backyard! We thought it looked beautiful outside with the snow in all the trees and have enjoyed our short burst of winter weather...enjoy our pictures....

Emily working on the snowman's nose

Michael and Mr. Snowman

Mr. Snowman up close

Lauren working on the snowman

Michael and Lauren in the woods behind our house
Our backyard before the snowman making began
Our neighbors house

Looking out our front door

Michael being silly in Lauren's hat
When the snow first started

Our Snow Day 2010!

2010-01-30T22:02:00.001-08:00

We all have had a great day enjoying our "winter weather" here in Zebulon! We have been under a "winter storm warning" since Wednesday and wondered if we would really get any kind of good snow...well, we did get some beautiful flakes coming down at first over night and then today it all turned to sleet and now we have about 3 inches of snow on the ground with 2 inches of sleet on top...great for sledding (too bad we don't live on a hill..hehe) so we all went outside for a little while and stomped around in the crunchy white stuff on the ground! It was fun but has been nice to come inside and stay warm with blankets and a big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup on the stove all day along with homemade brownies and chocolate chip cookies as well!! We are enjoying spending our day together as a family. Church was cancelled for tomorrow because the roads are sheets of ice so we will have "church" at home tomorrow as Jeff can administer the sacrament to us. It will be nice to have a quiet family day at home and reflect on the blessings the Lord has given us...which are many! We have had fun with our "big winter storm" of the year..hehe!

Vote for Pugslie!!!

2010-01-23T20:35:00.000-08:00

We entered Pugslie in a contest to be on the box of a Bissell Clean Machine (which we would also win)!!! Please vote for our adorable little dog below:

Thanks!!! Voting starts January 29th....PLEASE VOTE FOR HER!!!

Getting back to Normal!

2010-01-22T14:48:00.000-08:00

Finally our life around here is getting back to normal. Everyone is one the mend and now it is finally time to get busy and get back to business as usual. My dining room table transforms itself each weekday to our schoolroom and the kids sit around it and do their schoolwork. They each work on a different subject at a time and I go over their lessons with them on an individual basis to make sure they are on the right track. We spend between 4 and 5 hours a day completing schoolwork, and then I have housework to do and dinner to cook, clothes to wash....so, back to doing what I do everyday....still tired but definitely better!!! Below is a picture of how our dining room looks during the week! Hope everyone is doing good and enjoying their beginning of 2010....we are finally starting to get on our feet!!!

2010

2010-01-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

Some days I can hardly believe that it is 2010 already...time seems to be speeding up....sometimes I think it goes too fast and then other times it seems too slow. I was looking at my kids tonight and I realized that they are almost grown...it made me want to cry. I have always said that I would be glad when my kids got older but now that they are I wish for those moments when they were small back again...I know there are no "do overs"...I would have been a much better mommy. I have a lot of regrets...I wish I would have been better at parenting. Now the time is slipping from me and I can only pray that my children will grow up to be God fearing, caring, responsible adults. I guess I am also having one of my "Noah" moments...the new year seems to always bring them...I know everyone thinks about him occasionaly still but for me, he is always at the front of my thoughts. Oh, I have dealt with the pain and I carry it with me...most times I do it very well, but tonight, I don't wish to do that...I want to think about him and how if he were still here my Michael would have someone to play with and laugh with....seems like I not only got cheated out of getting to have Noah here but Michael got cheated at having a best friend in the house all the time....life doesn't always seem fair. But..that is life, isn't it...ups and downs and twists and turns. Sometimes I would like those twists and turns to be good ones...the last few years we have had twists and turns that have tested our faith and our resolve. I would like a few years of twists and turns that pour out blessings but then I wouldn't grow and learn so I need to be thankful for the challenges...they keep me moving forward and focused. I just really wish tonight that I would be allowed a peek, just a peek, behind the veil and see my son...if only I could just have a peek...time to get out my scriptures and read and ponder...

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

Today is the beginning of a new year, a new decade, and a new beginning! I love the beginning of a new year because we can start fresh, set new goals, change something we have been meaning to change and look forward with fresh eyes! I am happy to say that last year I set 3 main goals for 2009...

1. Read the Bible from cover to cover....completed!!!
2. Read the Book of Mormon four times....completed!!!
3. Go to the temple once a month....completed!!!

It made me feel good to complete the goals that I had set for myself so this year I have set new goals...goals that I will accomplish because I feel successful going into this new year! I have them on a card and I will keep them in my scriptures where I will look at them everyday, they will be a constant reminder to me of where I want to be at the end of this year and I will persevere and strive to reach them!

Yes, this is a new beginning...so tell me...have you set new goals, written them down and then prayed for help to accomplish them???? We can all have a brand new start and I LOVE that!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Will's Christmas Visit!

2009-12-25T21:37:00.000-08:00

This year, Will came on the 22nd to spend the night with me and part of the next day...you see, he and Noah had a very special connection and when I see Will, I think of how much Noah loved him and how happy he was when Will was around. Having Will take a special day to come and visit me was like a wonderful gift to me. I appreciate it so much for I know that he was doing it not only for me but he was giving me what Noah no longer can...his presence. Thank you Will...you brought me a little piece of Heaven and I love you for it! I could feel my Noah's love thru your humble, pure spirit. It was a wonderful gift!

Merry Christmas from the Coombs!!

2009-12-23T15:06:00.001-08:00

We want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! We are thankful for this wonderful time of year and the joy that it brings as we remember and take time to reflect on the birth of our Savior! We hope everyone will take some time on Christmas Eve and Christmas day admist all the fun and activities and gift giving and receiving and fun to remember the reason we celebrate this day!!! We are profoundly grateful for the Savior's life and mission and His atoning sacrifice for us! We hope you all have a wonderful time with your families...we are grateful for each of you!! :) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! We love you all!!!

The FLU.....WHAT?????

2009-12-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

Okay, now I go out of my way to try and prevent my family from getting the flu....I did exactly what the doctors asked me to do..my kids got the regular flu shot and then I made sure they got the h1n1 flu shot as well so I thought we were covered! Yesterday, Lauren wakes up with a really bad sore throat, fever, body aches, headache, and stomachache! I immediately call her doctor and make an appointment to bring her in. Before we go to the doctor her temp is around 102 so I give her tylenol and make sure she has cornstarch. On the way, Lauren gets sick in the car...I speed up a little and start to worry. Jeff meets me at the doctor's office and we are told that it looks like Lauren has the FLU!!! I said, "She had BOTH flu shots..what is this???" Dr. Covington and Dr. Muenzer both informed me that even though she had the shot, it would not guarantee that she would not get the flu, but that if she got it, she would get a more "watered down" version which in her case would be much better than the full blown flu...well, the "watered down" version in her is as bad as what everyone else that has had the flu has been...I am so grateful that we have all had the shot!! If she had gotten the full blown version of the flu then we would definitely had been in the hospital...no question!!! As is, we are hoping that we don't have to be going to the hospital..we are getting a 48 hour window from the doctors and they are trying to renig on that already!!! Last night her fever was up and we were a little concerned because Lauren can't take ibuprofen..it makes her sick to her stomach..so we cooled her down with a cool rag and put a light blanket on her which helped a lot! Jeff and Nathan also gave her a blessing and I immediately felt at peace. She still does not feel good but we know that she will get a little better each day. We are thankful for her doctors that take such good care of her and worry over her like Jeff and I do. We are not happy that somehow the flu has made it to our house BUT we are VERY GRATEFUL that it made it here before Christmas...we just need to get this out of the way so we can enjoy our time together as a family!!!

A Christmas Survey!!

2009-12-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

I read this on LaNelle's blog and I am feeling festive so I considered myself tagged and here it is:

Be Festive and Enjoy!

1. What 5 items are on your holiday wish list this year?

I honestly don't have a lot on my list that I need but if I could think of a few things, they would be:
1. Design Perfume and Powder (you can find those on fragrance.com)
2. A cool cellphone with all the latest gadgets (I love gadgets)
3. My kids not to be sick
4. Jeff being off for a whole week between Christmas and New Years (top of my
list)
5. Having Noah with us on Christmas (my biggest wish)!

2. What is your favorite handmade gift you ever received?

The gifts my children have made me...but if I had to pick just one, it would be the manger scene that Lauren made for me out of clay last year...I love manger scenes and it is so cute and from the heart!

3. What handmade gift have you always wanted to tackle?

Making a quilt which I have no idea how to do but I would love to make one for each of my kids and I would love to make one out of Noah's clothes.

4. What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child?

One year when I was in second grade we lived in Louisiana and we couldn't go to Ninna and Granddaddy's that year so everyone mailed us our gifts...MaMaw sent me a big flat box and when I opened it up there were 100 rings in it...I was so excited that I just screamed. I wore rings on every finger for weeks..I will never forget it!

5. What is your favorite holiday food?

I love all the homemade treats.... Momma'schocolate pie and peanut butter fudge is my favorite but Jeff's cream of potato soup on Christmas Eve is something I look forward to every year!

6. What will you be hand-crafting for the holidays?

Ummmmmm....since I have NO TALENT in that department, the answer would be NOTHING!

7. Favorite Holiday Songs?

I love all the classic Christmas songs and hymns but my favorite is "Do you hear what I hear?"

8. Favorite Holiday Pastime?

Spending Christmas Eve at Ninna and Granddaddy's and eating grits and singing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" to Granddaddy so he would let us open our gifts on Christmas Eve and getting up at 3 in the morning to see what Santa left and spending it with my family! I will always cherish those memories!!!

And now if you are in the mood to spread some holiday spirit, consider yourself tagged! :)

Tis the Season!

2009-12-06T18:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the Christmas Devotional and it was so beautiful! I felt the spirit so strong and now I am ready for this Christmas Season. It reminded me of why we celebrate Christmas...oh the decorations, the presents, the hustle and bustle are all fun and certainly have their place but the real meaning, the part that makes this time of the year so special, is about celebrating the birth of our Savior. I am so thankful for my Savior...his love, his selfless life, his redeeming grace, his mercy, his kindness, and most of all his ultimate sacrifice for me! I am so thankful for my family and how much I love them and how thankful I am that I am close to them. My greatest blessings are all around me. I will celebrate this year with more love and I will look for opportunities of service so that I can bring the Spirit of Christ into my home. I can only imagine the celebration that Noah is participating in on the other side of the veil...yes, we should all celebrate the birth and life of our Savior....for He is what Christmas is all about! I love this time of year!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-27T18:05:00.001-08:00

We had a wonderful, lazy Thanksgiving Day...lots of good food and great company. My friend, Jackie, came and spent the day with us and we were happy to welcome her to be part of our family...we were so stuffed after we had helpings of turkey, ham,Momma's FABULOUS cornbread dressing, mac&cheese, broccoli casserole, sweet potato casserole, green beans, baby lima beans, corn on the cob, and hot rolls...not to mention all the dessert...pecan pie, apple pie, chocolate pie, hershey kiss cookies, and chocolate chip cookies! We were full and happy by the end of our day!

Getting the turkey on!

Eating the dinner!

Some of the desserts!

After we were full of turkey, ham, and all the fixins we moved on to our next favorite of the Thanksgiving Holiday....BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING!! We looked thru all the sales papers and tried to find what all the good deals and make some plans for our shopping blitz! We started our shopping day at 2 am and ended it around noon...we were all tired but had a load of fun and battled the crowds and looooonnnggg lines with the best of them...what a great day!!!

All the sales papers we looked thru over and over again

Jean and Emily when we began our shopping trip!

Momma waiting in line at Wal-Mart!
Jean waiting in line at Wal-Mart!
Jean, Callie, and Momma at the end our shopping blitz!

Miracles!

2009-11-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

Jacob did a great update on his life that I read a few minutes ago. At the end of his post he asked the question...have you prayed for your miracle? I thought about that as I read it. I thought about what exactly a miracle is and how they come about...sometimes I am finding that the miracles are so small that we tend to overlook them, or at least I do. As we begin this holiday season I have been reflecting over the last two years of my life...what has taken place and where I am today...I face yet another holiday season without Noah. My friend gave a wonderful quote the other day...it said,
"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone." Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
I agree with that statement. I have experienced the kind of pain that sears you right down to your soul and yes, with time, it has healed some. During these last two years I have prayed mightly for strength, for more faith, and I have spent much time in the scriptures, pondering in the temple and striving to serve more faithfully. Thru those experiences I have experienced a miracle of healing thru the power of the atonement. I never really understood the healing power of the atonement until I needed it myself...it has washed over me and soothed my broken heart. It is filling the awful hole in my heart and soul with a deeper and more profound love of the Savior and my Father in Heaven. I still have moments when the tears and the pain return but I turn to my scriptures and I find peace and solitude...today I experienced a little miracle and it came thru my nephew, Jacob. His words on his blog at the end penetrated to my heart as he asked the question, "Have you prayed for your miracle?"..... my first thought was yes, I have and it hasn't happened..I'm still struggling, I'm still lacking, I still don't have what I have prayed so hard for the Lord to send to me and then I stopped myself in mid thought....I have so many miracles in my life..I have three wonderful children on this side of the veil who live the gospel and strive everyday to be obedient....I have one child on the other side of the veil that is about his Father's business and has finished his probation here on earth and returned with honor to his Heavenly Father...he is waiting for us and watching over us and I am sure praying for us to always choose the right. I have the most wonderful, faithful, stalwart husband in the world and I am blessed that he honors his priesthood and serves the Lord with faith and devotion. I have a mother who understands completely my pain and still has the ability to lift me with her strength and help me to look beyond this moment and see what it truly important to me. I have so much more than money or things could give me. As I begin this holiday season, I have much to be thankful for...I have the gospel of Jesus Christ and I have an eternal family. I have more love offered to me than I can comprehend and I feel grateful for my rich blessings. The pain of not having Noah here with us will never go away but thru the miraculous healing power of the atonement I can be certain of where he is and that his love transends thru the veil to us everyday. We will celebrate the birth of our Savior this year with more humility and realize the most important riches that we have are one another. Our love will grow and expand and I will find ways this holiday season to help my children understand the beauty of our Savior's mission here on earth. Yes...this will be a season of miracles for me...the kind that I need and the kind that will bring me closer to the Savior...and that is the greatest miracle of all...His gift to me...and I will cherish it like no other!

Young Women in Excellence Program

2009-11-19T13:11:00.000-08:00

The girls had their YW in Excellence Program this week and they did such a good job. They had to complete a 10 hour project in one of their values to display at the program. Emily chose "knowledge" and spent 10 hours researching her career choice in Physical Therapy and found out much about the program at East Carolina University. She wants to pursue her career there as they have one of the best programs for her chosen field. Lauren chose "divine nature" and spent 10 hours going over the six "B"'s that President Hinckley told them about...she wrote a poem about each of the B's and made a display out of "bees" to remind herself of the importance of living them in her life. Emily conducted the program and did a great job. Below are some pictures of their night...we were proud of their accomplishment and grateful for their leaders who work hard to help them achieve their goals.

Lauren and her YW Leader, Megan Clark

Emily with some of the YW

Emily with her project

Lauren with her project

Emily's project

Lauren's project

November already???

2009-11-02T06:27:00.001-08:00

I cannot believe that it is November already! Where has this year gone??? It was great to have November start on a Sunday...I loved that! We really enjoyed our Sunday...we, along with Momma and Nathan, were joined by Nate and Lynn VanValkenburg, the missionaries, and my adorable nephew, Jacob and his girlfriend, Brittany! We had such a great day and I thought last night that November could not have started out any better...friends and family are a perfect way to start the month! So...now begins the holiday season....my favorite time of year!

Happy Halloween 2009!!!!

2009-10-31T18:37:00.000-07:00

We had a great time this halloween. Jeff has a sinus infection so he stayed home while the rest of us went to our Ward Trunk or Treat Party! I am not good at coming up with costume ideas at all but Jeff came up with the costume for Michael that was the hit of the party! We all came home after a lot of laughing, eating, and with tons of candy...just what we all need...hahaha! The kids costumes were so fun...I have posted some pictures below....

Michael was "Swine Flu"...he carried around silly string and infected everyone he saw!!

Michael as "Swine Flu"

Lauren as a "Rock and Roll hippie"

Emily as a "peace, love, cool hippie"

Emily, Lauren, and Michael in their costumes

Balance!

2009-10-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

This week on Thursday I am giving a lesson in a Relief Society meeting on "Achieving Balance in our Lives." I have been thinking a lot about this lately....what does it take to to keep and maintain balance. The more I have pondered this, the more I am coming to understand, at least from my own experience, that the most important thing to having balance is where our priorities lie. I have discovered that we will never have real balance and harmony in our lives if we do not put the most important things first....daily prayer, daily scripture study being two of the most vital things to keep our lives in balance. Elder Ballard said in a book called "When thou art Converted" that if we are too busy to spend a few minutes everyday in scripture study then we are TOO busy and should find a way to eliminate or modify whatever activities are making that simple task impossible. So, I ask the question to those of you who read my blog...What are some things you do to keep your life in balance? I am interested as I prepare this lesson to see what others do to help maintain balance in their lives......

Sunday at home!

2009-10-11T10:48:00.001-07:00

It was so nice to wake up this morning in my own bed and to know that Lauren was sleeping in her own bed and we were all together as a family. Hospital visits remind me not to take for granted even the most simple of pleasures...that being able to wake up in my own house with my family all here. I am learning that often I take those little things for granted and I am going to try harder not to do that anymore. I am so thankful for all the little things in my life. When I walk thru the door of my my home I am greeted with hugs and big smiles, and a barking, deliriously happy dog, and I love the clean smell of my house and how hard my children work to make sure things stay in order. I love to look around and see a couple of games sitting out where the kids had been playing, schoolbooks layed out on the table where they had been working, Jeff's briefcase sitting in the floor of our room (where I always gripe about it being..hehe), the love and peace that permeates thru this house, my pictures of our family all over the walls, my album of Noah and his scriptures sitting on his special table, the reminders we have up about being more obedient, and my pictures of Christ and the temple! All those things remind me that I am home and there is no place on earth that is like home, there is no better feeling than being at home and I am reminded again not to take the little things for granted...I love hearing Mikey run thru the house playing some imaginary game, Emily sitting in our "reading chair" devouring another book, Lauren working on her endless crafts at the most disorganized corner in my house and Jeff looking thru e-mails, sharing one of his famous "Jeffisms", or walking aimlessly into the kitchen in search of a snack! I love sitting in my old worn out brown recliner that got passed down to me and when I sit in it I am reminded of how much love my Momma has for me. This is what my whole life is about and I wouldn't trade it for anything...my home, my family, my place of refuge when the world gets too hard, and when I am away from it for even a few days I am reminded of what I love most....being with my family and having everyone together. I have a lot to be grateful for...today I am thankful to be home!!!

An Uplifting Week-end!!!

2009-10-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

Even though Lauren and I are in the hospital, we were still able to get General Conference up here thru the internet. It was so nice being able to see and hear the messages given on the computer! I am so thankful for technology! All I can really say about this week-end was WOW!! I felt so uplifted and the two days of conference went by so fast! I came away from the week-end determined to live an even higher law and try harder to be true! The counsel I received made me feel so good and I know that Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to succeed! There was so much that I wanted to remember and I really want to keep the spirit I felt in conference with me all the time. It is wonderful!!!! I am grateful for the gospel and to know that we are not alone. I am thankful to have a living prophet that gives us direction and I, like, Elder Holland, know beyond any shadow of a doubt that the Book of Mormon is true and that it truly testifies of Christ. What a wonderful way to spend a week-end, being completely uplifted and strengthened! Now it is time to go forward with faith!!!!

Our Second home.....

2009-10-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we tried really hard to not have to come to the hospital but here we are once again, and believe it or not, we are in the exact same room we were in back in June!! I think they should start calling this room the "Coombs Family Retreat"...hahaha! Lauren's doctors just felt like she should come in and be put on IV Fluids to give her stomach a rest from cornstarch. We are hoping that we will not have to be here but for a few days. Lauren is in good spirits which is making this visit a lot easier. She says, and I quote, "My phantom stomach pain is back with a vengeance"! She is having that same ole stomach pain she gets at times and finds difficult to get under control sometimes. They are giving her some pain meds thru the IV and we are hoping after a few days she will get back to zero again and then we can get back to our normal schedule! She is still eating a little bit and that is a good sign. I am pleased to see how she is growing up and handling things so much better! I'm glad that she is taking all of this in stride. It makes our visit here easier to deal with! So...we are trying to relax is our home away from home and think positive thoughts...now only if we had some red shoes we could click together and repeat, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home..." Haha!

My thoughtful husband!!!

2009-09-30T03:24:00.000-07:00

Jeff had to go to Asheville this week for work and he knew how stressed out and tired I have been in dealing with Lauren not feeling well and her sudden bloodsugar drops. Since Sunday I had only gotten four hours of sleep, so by yesterday afternoon I was exhausted. When he told me on Sunday night that he had to go to Ashvelle this week, I guess from my expression, he could tell that I was weary. He normally will go and spend the night but he decided to get up at 4 am and leave yesterday and come back in one day. I was worried about him doing that, worried about Lauren and possibly facing another hospital stay, worried about how to get all the schoolwork done and the housework kept up and battling major fatigue! Anyway..yesterday afternoon things were looking up, I took a four hour nap which helped quite a bit and had dinner waiting for Jeff when he got home last night! He told me he had a surprise for me....he had brought me my absolute favorite treat in the whole world....MARABOU CHOCOLATE!!!! He said that when he went thru Charlotte, they had an IKEA store there so he stopped so he could get me some chocolate! He is so very thoughtful about things like that and it brought tears to my eyes...he is such a great husband and went out of his way to make me feel better (which chocolate always does..hehe)! So glad he is mine!!!! Aren't I blessed????

Tired!!

2009-09-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the past couple of days have been exhausting! Lauren loves to throw us curve balls and she threw us a good one yesterday at church. Her blood sugar had been fine early that morning and she had eaten before we left for church but during Sacrament when I checked her bloodsugar it was 36 and things went downhill quickly from there. Long story short is that she dropped even lower, passed out in the hall at church, we were able to get her aroused, give her polycose, rush her home, access her port and give her D50 to stabilize her bloodsugar. She has been pretty stable ever since but does not feel good at all. I have spoken at length to both of her doctors and I am taking her to see her pediatrician tomorrow morning. Both Dr. Covington and Dr. Muenzer think that she will need to be hospitalized because something is causing the low blood sugar drops but we just don't know what. I am hoping that we can do some bloodwork and get a clearer picture but the way I am feeling right now and how she looks, I think we are headed for a hospital stay. Jeff and I are praying that we will be led to make right decisions concerning her care and that we will do the right thing. Dr. Muenzer said that we need to have a VERY LOW threshhold for putting her in the hospital and so I will be keeping a close watch on her tonight to make sure that she doesn't drop. She is complaining of a headache, stomachache and that her chest hurts. Jeff gave her a blessing and we know that the Lord is watching over her. We will definitely put her safety first. I have her port accessed and heplocked and D50 ready. So far she has been stable but she doesn't look very good. She looks like she does not feel good. I am just tired right now and hope we will have a clear path by tommorrow! Please pray that we will know what to do and that it will be the right decision! Thanks!!!

My girls!

2009-09-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

With all the complaining I sometimes do about Lauren's stubbornness, I have to take some time out and now talk about her great faith and determination. This year, she absolutely begged to go to early morning seminary and after much prayer, her dad and I decided, along with her doctors, that this would be a good thing for her. They told me that she would have to wear a mask during flu season and she couldn't go if there was any outbreak of illness in the class! She has been getting up at 5 am for the past 3 weeks and never complaining about it. She checks her own bloodsugar, gets dressed, has a smile on her face and comes home in a happy mood! Last night, Lauren's bloodsugar dropped dangerously low (27) for no reason that we could see. We were able to get it back up and she ate good and had a really good bloodsugar when she went to bed last night...this morning at 5 am, her bloodsugar was somewhat low again (53), she took cornstarch and 5 cc of polycose (liquid glucose) and went to get ready for seminary. I questioned her going but she said she felt like she could do it even though she didn't feel well (low blood sugar will do that to you)! I checked it again and it had come up so after I pondered and prayed about the situation, I sent her to seminary with Emily with some extra sugar treats and a bloodsugar machine! Now...here is where my other sweet daughter comes in...she knew that Lauren was a little off center this morning so she kept a close watch over her during seminary, even checking her bloodsugar while they were there. I am so blessed with both of my girls....their courage, faith, and compassion humbles me everyday. I am blessed to have daughters that want to do what is right and that see early morning seminary as a blessing in their lives...they give me great joy everyday and I love them so much!!!

My favorite day....

2009-09-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday is always my favorite day of the week. This Sunday was no different...we had the missionaries over for dinner as well as the older sister missionaries in our ward over and they brought such a great spirit into our home. We love opening up our home and sharing our Sunday meal with others. It brightens up our day and we feel like we can share the blessings the Lord has given us. Michael was so cute...usually when we come home from church, the kids immediately go to their rooms and change from their Sunday clothes into their lounging clothes or pj's for the rest of the day. Today, Michael came home and stayed in his church clothes until after the missionaries left...when I asked him why he didn't change his clothes, he said, "Well, I just felt like it was the right thing to do." He always amazes me in the little things he does to show respect to our Heavenly Father and His servants. It was a sweet little experience for me. This afternoon we all took a nap and we have enjoyed just being together! I love Sundays because they remind me of my enormous blessings and give me a day to count them without other distractions...yay for Sundays!!!!!

Uplifting Week-end!

2009-09-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

We had stake conference this week-end and it was so uplifting. The Saturday night adult session was so uplifting and I left there feeling a much stronger desire to live closer to my Heavenly Father and be more obedient to His will in my life. We are so blessed to live in a wonderful stake...after the conference session last night, Jeff and I were talking to a friend of ours who is on the high council and also runs the technology things in our stake. Our stake has gotten so large that our stake center is not large enough to hold everyone and parking is a nightmare so the stake presidency decided this year to do a live feed to the Knightdale building and asked the Knightdale and Zebulon wards to go to the Knightdale building for stake conference and watch it on the screen instead of coming to the stake center. This past week, I took Michael to see Dr. Covington because he had an ear infection and Dr. Covington talked very seriously with me about this flu season. Long story short, he wanted me to begin seriously quarantining the kids around large crowds and in very enclosed spaces...I tell you all of this because Jeff and I have been praying this past week about what we should do when it came to stake conference today, knowing the Knightdale Building would be overflowing....well, our answer came in a wonderful way. They were able to send a live feed of stake conference directly to our computer here at the house and we were able to keep our family home and away from the crowd of stake conference and still enjoy the talks and music. It was wonderful to sit in our living room this morning and watch and listen to our stake presidency give us counsel. I shed tears of thanksgiving when I think about the love I have for and feel from this wonderful stake and how the Lord always provides for us if our desire is strong enough....we are more than blessed to be in the Raleigh North Carolina Stake and I am filled with gratitude for my blessings today!!!

A Growing Light...

2009-09-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

About a month ago....right after I went thru another very painful period in July having to deal with not only the anniversary of Noah's death but also his birthday, I came to understand that for the last 2 years my life has essentially been on hold. I have strattled that unseen line between this world and the next....wanting to take care of my children here and wanting to see and take care of my precious Noah in the other world. It has expended my energy, consumed my thoughts and taken part of me away from my family. The last two years I have just struggled to stay afloat and function as best I could. I thought that I was doing well but as I have continually prayed, pondered, read my scriptures and gone to the temple I suddenly looked around me a couple of weeks ago and realized how much my world had turned upside down. I think all the praying, pondering, reading, and attending the temple was what helped me to function and keep moving foward but I didn't realize how much it was bringing me to the place I am today. My eyes were opened and I looked at how much I have allowed my grief to take over who I am. I know this may sound trite...I don't mean it to be...but my house has been in disarray, my kids have largely functioned daily with me kinda sitting on the sidelines. Jeff has had to take on many more responsibilities that should be mine and I have had no energy or even a desire to get up and put things in order! I realized without really knowing it that I had slipped into some type of protection mode and just was wandering thru life. When my eyes finally were opened and I could see more clearly, I knelt down and asked Heavenly Father to help me find my way back....I sat down right then and made plans for the school year at home with the kids, I got up and put my house in order and set a schedule for us to live by. I began to get up very early so I could spend time alone in the mornings with my scriptures and I asked Jeff to give me a blessing to ask Heavenly Father to give me the physical strength and stamina that I needed to get my life in the right place. The last two years have been full of not only grief and pain but seemingly overwhelming challenges with Lauren and Michael's health as well. We have had long, extended hospital stays that have kept me on an emotional roller coaster and I have watched Lauren struggle to get hold of herself after facing the devastating loss of her brother and having to come to grips with her own struggle with GSD. It has been difficult and yet it has brought me to my knees and made me humble myself and ask for the Lord's guiding hand. I have felt his gentle whisperings and his guidance. I have seen him help Jeff move our family forward. I have felt much peace as I turned to my scriptures and at every temple session I attend, I can feel the overwhelming love that my precious Noah has for our family. I have felt his joy as we move closer and closer to our Father in Heaven and I have come to understand what truly submitting my will to Heavenly Father's means. I have found that thru this intense pain, I have found the absolute unwavering devotion to my Heavenly Father and feel a much deeper sense of love and gratitude for my Savior's sacrifice for me. I have come to love the simple beauty of the plan of salvation and I have come to understand that this life truly is a very small part of eternity. I have developed a stronger, deeper bond with Jeff and together we have learned to put complete faith and trust in Heavenly Father's will in our lives. All of this horrible heartache and pain has also brought with it some of the richest blessings I will ever experience in this life. I would not trade the relationship I have now with my Heavenly Father for anything and I don't know if I could have gained the great faith I am trying to maintain without having had to live thru this. I am watching Noah's incredible spirit touch lives as we tell others of him and we share our testimonies with them of Noah's life and our gratitude for the gospel. We are filled with joy as we see the light of Christ begin to shine in their eyes and we are profoundly grateful to have the opportunity to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and give others the opportunity to have in their lives the beauty of the gospel that we have. In the midst of all this pain, we have experienced a joy that is indescribable! Once Heavenly Father opened my eyes and has allowed me to see what growth we have experienced then things in my life began to be light again. My ability to serve my family is increasing and my physical strength is returning. I miss Noah everyday of my life but I can finally see what Heavenly Father has been teaching me all along. Noah's mission was to gain a body and teach us what pure love is...he has now returned with honor and wants nothing more than for us to share that love with each other and others. He is waiting for us and he will always be in our lives. We will have him for eternity and though my heart longs for him everyday, I can clearly see that he wants me to lift up my head and continue moving forward with faith. He wants his dad and I to never give up and to teach his brother and sisters the simple, beautiful truths of the gospel. He wants us to hold to the iron rod and never walk away from what we hold most dear. He is waiting, he is teaching, he is preparing for each of us. We will not disappoint him. We will continually pray for strength thru trials and for the blessings of Heaven to rest upon us. We will never give up and move forward with faith in every footstep. I can finally see clearly the lessons that Heavenly Father has wanted me to learn. I will strive for more faith, more knowledge and more trust in His will for me. I am thankful for the power of prayer and the strength of the temple. It has been a lamp unto my feet.

1st Day of Seminary!!!

2009-08-31T03:33:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again....seminary began today! This is Emily's third year and Lauren's first..I wanted everyone to see that Lauren actually GOT UP at 5:00 in the morning! They got up without complaint this morning and left ready for their first day of seminary! I know they will be blessed for sacrificing sleep to participate in seminary! It will be a huge blessing in their life!!!

Emily and Lauren getting ready to drive off!

Lauren walking out to the car!

Lauren and Emily all ready to go!

Lauren doing some of her chores before they leave!

Lauren checking her own bloodsugar when she got up!

Mikey's Story!

2009-08-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

Michael never ceases to amaze me. We started school today and I told Michael that he could write whatever story he wanted to because he has such a great imagination and I would check it for grammer and spelling. He handed this story into me today that he just thought up on his own....it's so good that I just had to share it.....

"My eyes are listless and my face souless. I cannot imagine the unbearable pain to arrive when the execution comes. I look through the steel bars of my jail cell, the brick wall and stained gray floor giving me no comfort.

A guard comes in, smiling cruelly. His face looks almost amused by my unhappiness. He roughly grabs my bony arm and gestures to the open door of the cell. I stand and a Roman guard drags me into the hall.

Suddenly, my sadness begins to die out, and a sort of emptiness replaces it. As I stare at the stone wall just yards away, I realize my feelings are not due to my death, but I instead weep for the sins of the people.

For today is the day I die for my religion."

Well there you go...I typed it EXACTLY as he wrote it! I guess I am just shamelessly boasting about him but I am always blown away by his work when he writes from his imgination or from his heart. Just thought I would share...he is gonna end up teaching me...hahahaha!

"Never underestimate the Fat Guy"

2009-08-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

Okay...we ended our Family Home Evening tonight with Michael telling us he could do jumping jacks so he did 40 for us. Jeff said he could do 50 and everyone started laughing so he HAD to prove to us that he could do it! Below, you can watch him doing his 50 jumping jacks....Kim would be so proud...hahaha! As Jeff said at the end of the video..."Never underestimate the fat guy"....I hope you are all as entertained as we were...it was a fun way to end our FHE....enjoy!!!

Only my Lauren!!!!

2009-08-15T17:58:00.001-07:00

Well, you would think after almost 15 years that I would learn that once Lauren gets something in her mind, she is DETERMINED to do it no matter what the obstacle or the consequence! Now many of you who read this may remember when Lauren was THREE and she had this beautiful soft hair with bangs that it took me GREAT pains to get the perfect length! She decided one day that she would cut it and she DID...right to the scalp and we had to end up cutting her hair into a pixie cut because it was all she could do. Her Aunt Kim actually made her a couple of hats to wear until we could get it to grow out (which took a couple of of YEARS!) So...I thought she surely had learned her lesson....what was I thinking????? Lauren told me a couple of days ago that she wanted to get her hair cut...ok I told her...it's her hair, she can wear it how she wants to as long as she keeps it neat. I told her we would talk the next day about what she wanted....well, I woke up the next morning and left early to go run some errands with Momma before the kids got up...while I was gone, Lauren called her dad to tell him that she had waited until we all went to bed the night before and put her hair up in a ponytail and cut it off! She wanted him to tell me! He told her that he didn't care about her hair but that she had gone behind our back and cut it which would cost her some priviliges for being defiant even about something so simple....I came home, we had a chat..she went to the hairdresser and got it shaped up into a very cute style and I have learned yet again that I have a VERY DETERMINED daughter who will do what she sets her mind to even though she faces oft times not good consequences....now only if I can turn that determination to the good......

Random thoughts....

2009-08-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

While I am waiting up to give Lauren and Michael cornstarch I have some time and I thought I might just write down some thoughts that have been on my mind the last month. July turned out to be an incredibly difficult month for me which came as somewhat of a surprise to me. I have learned over the last two years though that it happens that way when I am not prepared to deal with the emotions. It has turned me somewhat upside down and I find myself struggling to get my footing back and turning to my scriptures for guidance and a renewal of my faith. I started off the month on vacation and that was wonderful but as always when the 6th of July rolled around, it brought with it a flood of memories and thus began my spiral downward. I tried so very hard to not give in to the tears and sadness but it soon became apparant that I was going to have to let the emotions come and deal with them. So many times I don't express to anyone when the hurt and pain of Noah's death overwhelm me and I go to my bedroom, shut and lock the door, and get on my kness and cry. I talk with Heavenly Father and I stay in my room until I can get over it then I wash my face, reapply my makeup and leave my room with a forced smile so no one will know. But somehow this last month nothing I did could replace the profound sadness that came over me. I went to the cemetary and looked at Noah's headstone and the tears came easily. I walked outside and let my thoughts wander hoping I could shake the somber mood but it just wouldn't lift. Michael and Noah's birthday rolled around and the day brought with it a flood of tears that morning, a forced happy mood that afternoon and evening, and a long prayer to help me get thru it all. I kept wondering why I just couldn't shake it .... it has been 2 years now... shouldn't I be "healed" as time has marched on? Then I realized the other night when I cried after my prayer with Jeff and I told him how I had been feeling....it's okay to cry, it's okay to still miss my baby, Jeff and I will never feel "complete" on this earth again and my heart will always have a space that is empty and longing. But..as Jeff told me, we go forward with faith because each step we take forward, we move closer to Noah. I know now that I will always have moments, or days, or maybe even weeks when the pain of not having Noah on this earth will be great and I have to let them come, deal with them and then move forward. I have found myself this past month wanting to remember every little detail about Noah...I have looked over and over again at his pictures, reliving special moments in my thoughts, opening the desk drawer in our room where I still keep a little pair of his socks and taking them out and rubbing them on my cheek, taking down the molds of his handprints and footprints and touching them over and over with my fingers so I can feel the little lines that were in his hands and feet. I touch each toe and each finger...the pain is real and seering and the tears stream down my cheeks and I can hardly catch my breath because the memories are so thick. Then I put it all back and I wipe my tears and call Jeff. I hear his voice and I know everything is going to be ok. He will come home and he will take me in his arms and he will let me have my memories and my tears and he will wipe them away and then we will pray and we will talk about Noah and we will laugh and my mood lightens and I move on. This was a hard month...one full of pain and now it is behind me and I will lock these feelings up for a while until they resurface again and I have to deal with them. This is how it is on my personal journey thru grief and I am learning that it's okay to have bad days, or bad weeks, or a bad month. I am learning that I am never alone even when I feel that way and that when I pick up my scriptures the peace returns and in my mind I see Noah dressed in white and he is smiling and he is happy and he is Celestial and I promise to strive harder to live the gospel more fully and be more obedient. I ponder and I am filled with gratitude that Heavenly Father sent him to me. Another step on this long road I never wanted to have to walk but I know that I do not walk alone.

Arrow of Light Ceremony!

2009-08-01T08:55:00.001-07:00

Michael earned his Arrow of Light in cubscouts (the highest award you can earn in the cubscout program and the only patch that can be worn from the cubscout program on the official boyscout uniform)! There was a ceremony for Michael and his best friend, Tristan, to honor them for earning their Arrow of Light. We took at lot of pictures and are very very proud of Michael and his accomplishment. He persevered and finished all the requirements he needed to in order to earn his award! It was a great night!

Michael and Tristan during the bridge ceremony

Michael and Tristan during the bridge ceremony

Mom presenting Michael with his hiking stick!

Michael and Tristan with their arrows their Weblos leader made them!

Mom pinning the Arrow of Light badge on his new uniform

Michael being presented with his Arrow of Light Award

Michael earning a couple of other awards

Michael and Tristan during the ceremony

Michael being presented with his scout book!

Michael and Tristan

A Tradition Continues!

2009-07-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today Momma and Nathan told Jeff and I that they had a gift for us. They wanted us to open it together so when we sat down in the living room, they handed me a yellow gift bag with tissue paper inside covering the contents. As I reached in the bag and pulled out the present, the tears began to flow when I saw the box for I knew what it contained. When I opened the box, there sat a blue set of scriptures with Noah's name embossed on the front. This would have been Noah's 8th birthday and as has been the tradition with all of the grandchildren when they turn 8 years of age, they receive a brand new set of scriptures. Even though Noah no longer has need for the scriptures on this earth, they still wanted him to have his own set as he is their last grandchild and thus they would have given each one a set. As I read what they wrote on the inside it brought tears because I knew what a gift of love this was and it meant the world to both Jeff and I. Jeff suggested I keep his scriptures on the table where his book that Kim made him is along with his pictures and several other special items. We placed them there and they will always be a constant reminder to us of the importance of reading them each day so we will one day be able to return and be with him for eternity. It was a special gift and made this particular birthday easier for me. Thanks Momma and Nathan....I love you and I know that Noah does!!!

Good Hair Day!

2009-07-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

Okay...since I rarely have these and I love my new highlights and it was the perfect day to have a good hair day, I have to show off my hair! I love Sundays...esp. loved today since I haven't been to my ward in over a month between being in the hospital and then leaving the very next day out of the hospital for the beach, I haven't had a chance to catch up with anyone and so seeing everyone after a while was fun for me. I loved showing off my new highlights that LaNelle gave me and wouldn't you know that today my hair did exactly what I wanted it to...that in itself is a shock, esp. after looking at all the beach pictures and realizing that I don't have good hair in any of them and they forced me to drag out my Weight Watchers stuff (a whole other subject...but I digress)..anyway, so I thought I would try to take a snapshot with my webcam so I could remember my good hair day. It actually looked really good from the back but since I am not good at taking a picture of the back of my head, you will have to settle for the front..hahaha! So here is my good hair day...

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Our 2009 Myrtle Beach Vacation!

2009-07-13T13:09:00.001-07:00

I do not even have the words to describe how great our vacation was this year! Two whole weeks with almost my entire extended family was incredible! I loved seeing and spending time with everyone! There are so many pictures that I would love to post but here are just some of our fun these past two weeks...we laughed and talked and visited and laughed some more and swam and ate and laughed even more. It was just what the doctor ordered for my family and we all came back home a little more tan or red in some cases and with a whole lot of wonderful memories to tuck away...we are already planning for next year. What a fabulous time was had by all.....here are some of our memories (there were probably close to a 1000 pictures taken combined by everyone so these are really just a few...)

Momma and Nathan with their light up cold drinks

Jeff and Pugslie hanging out at the campsite

Sarah Beth, Patti, Kyle and Kalib eating Sunday dinner
Heather enjoying her dinner on Sunday

Sisters..Kim, Kerry, Jean, and Libbi

Emily and LaNelle in the camper after Emily's new hairdo by LaNelle!

Momma and her four kids (Jean, Kim, Momma, Libbi, Floyd)

Jean, Jeff, Kim, Jerry, Libbi, Pete, Laurel, Floyd (Me and my siblings)

Momma and Nathan with our whole family

(5 were missing...Noah, Katie, Jacob, Jared, Kristin & Chloe)

Daddy and Dibbie with most of our family

Jeff and Jean on the beach!

(See, Jeff really did go on the beach..hehehe)

Jeff taking a break from the conversation on Sunday

afternoon to do some reading (and sleeping..haha)

Nathan on July4th waiting for Jeff's burgers!

Kim, Laurel, David, and Grandma on one of our

family dinner nights!

Michael and Sarah Beth out on the balcony!

Jeff cooking hamburgers on July 4th

(Jacob taking notes!)

Kim and Lauren in the condo!

Laurel, Floyd, Libbi, LaNelle, and Pete at

a family dinner night!

Will and Jean

Peter and his fiance Ellen

(our newest family member to be)

Steven playing with Kaitlyn in the sand!

Jean and LaNelle

My two best friends...aka as my sisters!

4 of my adorable great nieces and nephews

(Natalie, Carolyn, Kaitlyn, and Seth)

Daddy, Dibbie, Floyd, Jean, Kim, Libbi, and Kerry

Grandma and Natalie playing on the beach!

The balloons going up and up for my Noah!

Emily's new hair do after LaNelle got done!

Kerry, Jean, Libbi, Kim, and Laurel!

Kim giving advice as LaNelle finishes up my highlighting session!

One of our nightly talk sessions at the campsite!

Andrew, Connor, Gramps, David, Steven, Michael, and Jeff

David, Libbi, Pete, Floyd, and Andrew

Libbi and Beth on the beach!

Lauren under Aunt Libbi's nice cool tent on the beach!

My Noah Day!!!!

2009-07-06T06:14:00.000-07:00

Today we are at Lakewood on our vacation and I just wanted to take a minute out and say that on this day, 2 years ago, we had to say goodbye to our precious little by Noah. No one loved being down here more than he did..no one loved the golfcart more than he did. As we have ridden around on the golfcart and all the kids that have come to see us have jumped in it to ride, it has brought back very fond memories of my Noah and his ability to jump into the golf cart at a moments notice when he thought anyone was going to ride somewhere! I see his smile everywhere I turn and as we look at his little flipflops hanging from the back of our trailer, I can close my eyes and still see his little feet running across the campground in those little shoes. I can hear the sound of his laughter as he jumped up and down in the waves and how he loved to sit under the awning and "relax" with his feet propped up on one side of the chair. I can still see him busily working his puzzles we kept in the trailer for him and how he would snuggle on the bed with us at night. As much fun as we are having, these memories still bring tears to me...tears of gratitude that I was allowed to have him for five years. Tears of sorrow that I can't see him today running with everyone else and then tears of joy as I know if Jeff and I live in strict obedience to the Lord's commandments that I will one day be reunited with my precious little boy on the other side and that reunion will be sweet. For now, I will allow these memories to envelope me and I will shed a few tears and Jeff will wipe them away and together we will move forward with faith for we are an eternal family who understand the simple beauty of the Plan of Salvation and it brings us hope and peace and absolute faith that the Lord's promises are sure. So today is my Noah day and all is well! I love you Noah and I miss your presence in my life but one day our reunion will be sweet and then we can look back on this time and be grateful for the growth that our family experienced and it will have made us stronger!

Our Newest Driver!!!

2009-06-25T09:04:00.001-07:00

Today Jeff took Emily to take her driving test so she could get her license and she was SO excited when she heard the words YOU PASSED! She was so happy she could hardly contain herself as the picture below shows! She has already called me and told me that she is driving to Wal-Mart this afternoon to pick up a few things...I guess I will now have a happy young woman that will be willing to run all kinds of errands for me...hahaha! We are so thrilled for her and she is excited to be able to drive the golf cart at the beach next week as well....everyone look out...here comes Emily!!!!!!!

Happy Fathers Day!!!

2009-06-21T10:32:00.000-07:00

Even though we are up here in the hospital and I don't get to celebrate Fathers Day with Jeff the way we would like in our family but I do want everyone to know how grateful I am for a my wonderful husband. He is the greatest father in the world and our kids are so blessed to have him as their father! He is kind, patient, loving, understanding, righteous, and full of faith. He is the rock of our family and keeps us all steady and assured! He honors his priesthood and serves others unfailingly! I always think of him when I read the scriptures in Alma 48:11 and 17 and I can replace his name with Moroni's....the verses are, "And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding;......" and then verse 17, "Yea, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." That is they way I feel about Jeff. He is dedicated, hardworking, and immovable in his faith. He is a wonderful father and we love him very much!
I also am grateful for my own father who taught me about standing up for what is right and never backing down. He taught me how to speak up and be proud of who and what I was. He taught me good principles and gave me a foundation of faith with which to build upon. I am proud to be his daughter! I love you Daddy!
I have also been blessed with a wonderful stepfather who patience and kindness knows no bounds. His love and compassion underscores everything he does and he truly gives all from his heart. He has given all he has to me and my family thru the years and has stood right beside me in my darkest and hardest days. He is faithful and true and everyday I am thankful for his love and presence in my life. He is more than my stepfather...he is my friend. I love you, Nathan!
I have been blessed with so many wonderful men in my life that have taught me how to be better...my brother in laws are wonderful, faithful, honest, and true! They are great examples to me! I have nephews that are or will one day be fathers who bring me such joy watching them in their families and I am so grateful to be surrounded by so many good men! My life is blessed so to everyone I say, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

Gratitude!!!

2009-06-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

A quick update....as of today (Saturday) things are looking up for us! Michael's blood culture they drew from Thursday afternoon was still negative this morning and we are hoping for it to stay that way! They have switched Michael from the big guns antibiotic (Vancomycin) to another one that is not quite so powerful because the sensitivities came back and showed that this particular bacteria can be treated with several different ones...yay!!! If all continues to go well then the plan is for us to leave here next Sunday (the 28th) and Michael will be given four days worth of oral antibiotics to take at home. If we are able to leave here Sunday morning then we will be able to leave for our vacation on time and as scheduled! That would be a near miraculous feat....we are praying for that to happen as it has certainly brightened up Michael's outlook and made it easier to be up here! We appreciate all the prayers and the combined efforts from everyone in praying for this treatment to be successful and for the doctors to be led in making wise decisions! Thank you all...we will keep you updated and hopefully our next post will be one from Myrtle Beach letting everyone know we are FINALLY THERE!!! Keep praying for us...please!!!

Another Twist!!!

2009-06-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

Most everyone already knows how things are going but for those that aren't on Facebook and haven't been keeping up with our updates I will update here as well! First...the good news..Lauren will be going home on Friday. She has improved greatly..her migraines are under control and her stomach pains have stopped so they will be discharging her tomorrow! Now for the not so great news...first off, there is a terrible stomach bug going around up here which Jeff and I had hoped to avoid but weren't able to so we spent Tuesday and Tuesday night very sick! Thankfully it only lasted 24 hours and even though we still feel a little bit under the weather, we are much better than we were! Yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon they came in to tell us that Michael's port had come back positive for bacteria again which meant that they were going to have to pull the line. That would actually require two surgeries (one to take the port out and then another one after they had cleared the line)! We would then be here for another 14 days on IV antibiotics. Well, since we were planning on leaving for vacation on the 28th of June, it would cut right into our vacation and take out the first week. We were all disappointed and since I wasn't feeling well physically it brought about tons of tears. What was most heartbreaking for me was watching Michael be so upset and disappointed. That brought me out of my own disappointment and Jeff and I talked with Michael for a long time. We explained to him that being angry was not the way the Lord would want us to be and that sometimes we just have to exercise our faith and put our trust in Heavenly Father that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. We told him how thankful we were that we were able to catch this when we did and that this was truly a blessing from the Lord. We asked him to put forth all the faith he had and that Heavenly Father would bless him. Jeff is going to give him a blessing and we asked others to pray in our behalf as well. We just accepted it and tried to remember that we are not left alone to deal with challenging times. Later yesterday evening the doctors came in again and told us that after they met with the surgeon that he really wanted to try and save the port, using surgery as a last option. They decided to do a new treatment which is they will run the vancomycin to Michael every 8 hours and in between those times they will do a vancomycin lock which is they will push a small amount of vancomycin into his port and let it sit for one hour three times a day! This they are hoping will clear the line faster and it will get all of the bacteria. We felt like that was an answer to the many prayers that were being offered up in our behalf. This morning Dr. Muge came in and told us that if this clears the line then we will be able to do it for 10 days instead of 14 which would mean that we would get out in time to make it to our vacation! I know that doesn't seem like a huge deal but to the kids it is a big deal and I know that Heavenly Father knows how much it would mean to our family to spend some quality time together. We are sending up our prayers that this treatment will clear the line and that all will go on schedule. We are thankful for the blessing the Lord gave us of finding out about the port infection before it got into his bloodstream and made him very sick. We are thankful that all the prayers that are being lifted up for us are being answered and we are most grateful that as we turn to the Lord and ask for His strengthening hand that we are being supported by His all powerful hand. We are exercising our faith and asking for everyones combined prayers and faith that Michael's port will be cleaned and we will not have to remove it! We are so grateful for the many friends and loving family that are supporting us and are helping us thru this challenging time in our life. If I can find a silver lining in all of this it is that very thing...that we have been blessed with many friends and much family who unite their faith and prayers with ours to bring about our desired result. I can never express enough my gratitude to the Lord for His guiding hand in my life. I know the Lord never gives us more than we can bear and He will fortify us in all things for as I am reading now in the book of Ether...we are "tight like unto a dish" and we will and can survive the storms! We love you all!

More Drama!!!!

2009-06-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

OK...well, I have been trying to be positive and upbeat about our whole situation and my positive attitude was sorely tested yesterday! Jeff and Michael came up to visit us last evening and while I was waiting for them to come, Jeff called my cellphone and asked me to bring the bloodsugar machine downstairs because they were in the truck out in front of the hospital. I asked him what was wrong and he said that Michael had thrown up in the parking garage and he didn't have the bloodsugar machine with him. I grabbed our bloodsugar machine and ran downstairs. Michael's bloodsugar was 91 so I ran back upstairs to get him some cornstarch that I had in Lauren's room. When I got back downstairs his bloodsugar was 77. I gave him cornstarch, spoke with Dr. Muenzer and told Jeff that he would have to pull over and wait to see if Michael's bloodsugar would come back up. I went back upstairs to check on Lauren. Jeff called me just as I got back to the room and Michael's bloodsugar was 61. I again called Dr. Muenzer, told him quickly what was going on, grabbed my access kit and the D-50, told the nurses to keep an eye on Lauren, told Jeff to take Mikey to the ER and headed downstairs to the ER. I met Jeff and Michael in the ER, the doctors took him back, and his bloodsugar was now 54. I accessed his port, and they started an IV on him. They checked his bloodsugar and he was 43! They increased the sugar running into his veins and I ran back upstairs to check on Lauren, told the charge nurse that Michael was being admitted and they saved him one of the VERY FEW rooms open on the floor that was 3 doors down from Lauren. Michael and Jeff came up within about 30 minutes and once I spoke to Mikey's nurse and got him some phenergan thru the IV, I sat down for a minute and took a breath. I called Momma, she and Emily went and gathered a few of Jeff's things (he was in his suit from church) and Bishop Tiek and Robin came and brought them up to us! Now Jeff is staying the room with Michael and I am in the room with Lauren. Now...for my silver lining....Jeff was already in the parking garage here at UNC when Mikey got sick, a room was available which is rare, Dr. Muenzer was on call and quickly responded, the nurses up here were WONDERFUL and quick to keep an eye on Lauren during all our drama, I had an extra access kit in the room and was able to quickly get it together for Michael. So amist all the drama and stress, we were able to remain calm and get everything in order for Michael very quickly! Jeff and I knelt together in prayer last night (another silver lining) and thanked Heavenly Father that everything worked out the way that it did and that Michael is being taken well care of as well as Lauren. We prayed for our precious Emily, who is a huge blessing to us with her ability to understand and roll with what we are given and for Momma and Nathan who we don't know what we would do without! The stress was high but our blessings were greater and we gratefully acknowledged the Lord's hand in our life once again and expressed our thanks for His constant care. We appreciate all the help everyone has been to us over the last 24 hours and have felt the many prayers and love that are being sent our way!

Sunday!!!

2009-06-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

Gosh, you know I love Sundays even when we are in the hospital because I try really hard to make it a different day even up here. I got up this morning and turned on "The Mormon Channel" on my computer (it's an audio site that plays music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, conference talks, CES talks, different gospel subjects are discussed, and so on..) and then I read my conference edition of the Ensign after reading my scriptures. The room is quiet and there is a wonderful spirit in it because I ask Heavenly Father to help us have a good Sabbath Day. As I read the talks I ponder over their words of counsel and I think about things in my life that I can improve on. The talks I have been reading this morning are all about being strong during adversity in our lives and I thought about how appropriate it is for those to be the ones that I am reading today. Even reading them has strengthened my resolve to live closer to the Spirit and to be more exact in my obedience, more faithful in going thru challenging times and pray harder for the inspiration to lead me where I should go! I am thankful for my Savior and for His redeeming sacrifice for me. I am thankful for the scriptures that bring me peace in stressful situations and I am grateful for modern day revelation that teaches me how to be more patient, more faithful, and more grateful for the challenges in my life. I am grateful for the challenges that I face because they increase my faith as I allow my will to be swallowed up in the will of the Lord. I am most grateful for my wonderful husband and my children who take life as it comes and never complain. I am thankful for Lauren's amazing courage, Michael's absolute joy in life, Emily's never ending compassion, and Noah's constant powerful influence in my life! I have a husband who loves me more than I can put into words and who completely honors his priesthood. My blessings are many so on this Sabbath day I will share my testimony of faith and love with each of you. I am thankful for all the blessings in my life and I am most grateful to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for walking every road with me...it gives me the courage to walk forward with faith! I just love Sundays...they give me a chance to pause, ponder, and reflect on the important things in my life! My blessings are numerous.

Update on Lauren!

2009-06-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

I thought I would give everyone an update since our drama on Wednesday. It appears that she has caught a cold bug or something that has thrown her backwards with the migraines. She has a great team of doctors working with her with her beloved Dr. Muenzer heading it up! We are blessed to have a doctor on the team that suffers from migraines and has been an invaluable source in guiding the doctor's efforts. They still have her on DHE (they actually increased the dose) but are going to bring it back down tomorrow. If her pain level hasn't gone down below a five on the pain scale tomorrow, they are considering giving her a scheduled dose of Zanaflex (a muscle relaxant) because it makes her very sleepy and they think it might be good for her to sleep as much as she can so that it will help with the migraine treatment. If they go that route, she will be getting it three times a day so she would be sleeping most of the time over the next two days. We will just have to wait and see. She woke up tonight and enjoyed visiting with Jeff and the kids. When they left, she asked the nurse if she could have the zanaflex...I asked her if she felt ok and she said no but she didn't want to make her dad and brother and sister feel bad while they were here. She seems to manage the pain when it goes below a certain level but then it seems to come back again and that it what they are trying to get under control. Right now I just think that she is feeling lowsy because of this cold bug too! On Monday, they will do an MRI under concious sedation. They tried to do one today with just some ativan but Lauren freaked out with her head hurting and the "darth vader" mask that they put over her face to keep her head still. After a few minutes, we called it quits and decided to do it the other way. Dr. Muenzer did not want her to be down there crying and shaking. She has been pretty drugged up today but at least when she is sleeping, her body is relaxed and the pain is better. I cannot say enough about our love and admiration for Dr. Muenzer...he takes extra steps to make sure we are doing ok. I have talked with him at length twice today...both times with a few tears and he just listens and tells me that Lauren is going to be fine and they will get her thru this. I know that they will. I have a lot of faith in them and I have prayed mightly that the Lord will direct their efforts. I feel like He is doing so and we are on a right path. The room gets smaller every day...I had hoped to transfer to a bigger room but it doesn't seem to be working out as well as I had hoped. It's okay though...we are making due! Please continue to pray that the pain in Lauren's head will subside and we will be able to go home one day next week! We are all definitely looking forward to our beach vacation! Below I have put some pictures of Lauren sleeping...she is still so frail and weak looking but she is going to get stronger! Thanks for all your support and prayers! We are looking forward in faith and we know she is being watched over and her guardian angel is near.

A Curve Ball !!!

2009-06-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well, today started out good at least...I got up early, got the room packed up, our clothes washed and had everything ready for Jeff to come pick us up from the hospital around 12:30 this afternoon. Lauren slept in late, Dr. Muenzer came in, we all talked and then they came in to give us our prescriptions to take home and Lauren got up to take a shower! Once she got into the bathroom, she called for me and when I opened the door she was falling to the floor with her eyes rolled back in her head. I caught her head just before she hit the floor and laid her gently down then reached for the nurses's call button and yelled for help! Lauren was pale, clammy, and very disoriented (CLASSIC HYPOGLYCEMIA). I grabbed the bloodsugar machine just as the nurse came running in and we started giving her sugar filled soda to bring up her bloodsugar as she began to come around. They paged Dr. Muenzer and he came running up from his clinic visits as well as the neurologists and a lot of other people crowding into the room. Nicoletta (the nurse) and I were able to get her to the bed and then she started throwing up everything. Everyone stepped into highgear and we quickly reaccessed (I had already deaccessed her) port and Dr. Muenzer ordered the staff to restart her D-10! They gave her phenergan thru the IV and we took a wet washcloth and wiped her face and got her calmed down. They hooked her up to the heart monitor to watch her more closely and we checked her bloodsugar frequently until it was back up to normal. She fell asleep and I took a big sigh of relief that she was sleeping calmly and the crisis was over! Jeff came up and we are sitting talking about how much we hate GSD and how sometimes it just creates havoc for no good reason! They have decided to run the DHE Protocol another day and then reassess her again tomorrow! For the meantime, she is back on the IV and we are most grateful that we hadn't left the hospital yet when this happened and that we have wonderful doctors who take great care of her! She was in the best place she could have been in for her to have a hpyoglcemia attack although we all wish we could have figured out why it happened....but that is GSD and we are hoping she hasn't caught something while she has been up here although I don't think anything is going around up here so who knows!!! I have said a prayer of gratitude in my heart to the Lord that all has turned out and we will probably be here for a couple of more days until we get this worked out! Lauren loves to throw us curve balls and we had a doozy of one thrown at us this morning! It's a good thing we are learning to catch them better.......:)

Nice Sunday!

2009-06-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday and as I sit here and type this in the hospital, I am listening to "The Mormon Channel" that comes over my computer. It is songs, inspirational stories, and talks from the general authorities. It is so uplifting and even though Lauren and I can't be at church today, we can certainly listen and feel uplifted. It is so great to have this kind of technology now! Lauren is improving everyday and we are hoping if all continues to go well that we will be able to go home by Tuesday...at least that is what we are shooting for. I think we will make it. I am grateful for the scriptures and the power of prayer in our lives....we feel very blessed to have great doctors who are so in tune with Lauren and take such good care of her. We are also grateful for the nursing care she has received up here. We see the Lord's hand in our life and are grateful for every blessing He sends our way and He sends many. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and love sent our way. We appreciate it! Things will be back to normal soon and we will be preparing for our beach trip...we are looking forward to a nice relaxing getaway!

Chapel Hill....again!

2009-06-01T22:37:00.001-07:00

Well...here we are at Chapel Hill once again! Lauren has been fighting migraines for the last couple of weeks and we began to get concerned this week-end when the medicine was not taking the migraines completely away. She would get better at night and then the next morning the migraine would be back and she would sleep most of the day. We were having a hard time getting her to eat and last week she had two low blood sugars in the mornings. This afternoon when her migraine came back and was a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10, I put a call into to Dr. Muenzer. He told me that she was headed to the hospital and after speaking with the peds neurologist and Dr. Muge, the decision was made to admit her to Chapel Hill. By the time they called us with a room, it was 8 pm and we got here around 9:30 pm. We were able to come right up to the room and by the time they got her admitted and got all the initial stuff done it was close to midnight! They finally got her medicine up and running around 1 am and she is now sleeping. We will probably be here for 7 to 10 days as that is how long is usually takes for the DHE Protocol to work. We are grateful for her wonderful doctors who don't take any chances with her and hopefully we will get this taken care of and be able to enjoy our vacation! So for now...we are confined to the 6th floor of the Children's Hospital at Chapel Hill!

Michael's First Campout!!!

2009-05-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Michael's first campout was a ton of fun! Michael and Tristan (they are the only 2 weblos that come regularly) had to earn a few badges so they planned an overnight campout so they could finish out their weblo requirements plus earn their arrow of light! Their dad's, along with their weblo leader, camped out with them. They went to Tristan's house because they live on several acres of land with a pond and camped out down by the pond! Michaels words when I asked him how the camp-out was were and I quote, "It was AWESOMESAUCE Mom" (that translates to It was the greatest time ever!)! They did all kinds of fun things and Michael ended up catching a fish! They ate steaks with potates and veggies they cooked over the campfire for dinner and had a great breakfast of bacon and eggs! As Jeff says..."if you go camping with me, you are gonna eat good!" I am so happy it was great fun for Michael and that Jeff survived..hehehe...he is now laying down for a little nap before we move on with other things for the day! Michael still has plenty of energy and is looking forward to the next time they can camp out!!! Below are some pictures of their adventure....

The camp!

Michael relaxing at the campsite!

Michael and Tristan in the tent!

Michael showing off the fish he caught!
Michael and Tristan fishing!

A Day in May!

2009-05-16T12:44:00.001-07:00

OK...I don't really have a reason to post or anything wonderful to share or tell but I did want to say that I love going to the temple! Jeff and I went this morning together and can I just say that to start your Saturday morning off by going thru a session at the temple is just the perfect way to start a day! Our whole day has been so much more relaxed and we are getting everything accomplished that we wanted to! We got up at 6:30 this morning, got dressed, and left by 7:45 a.m! Momma and Nathan came over to help out until Jackie (the kid's nurse) got here! We normally leave Emily in charge when we go somewhere but because we can't be contacted while we are in the temple, we feel more secure having an adult here while we are gone! I was just reminded again today of all my blessings and how grateful I am for the peace and joy that comes inside the walls of the Lord's house! The burdens and challenges we face seem to fade away within those walls and we come away with more strength to face life's challenges! I set a goal this year to attend the temple once a month! So far I am right on schedule and I am thankful that everything works out so that I can accomplish my goal. I usually don't meet physical goals that I try to accomplish each year (i.e. - exercise, weight loss...although I continually try) but I am very determined to meet the spiritual goals I have set. So far on all of those, I am right on schedule and hopefully will stay that way! So for just a normal Saturday in May....it has been a great one because we started it out the best way we know how! I love the temple!!!!

Happy Mothers Day!

2009-05-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to write a post and wish everyone a Happy Mothers Day! I have been blessed with a wonderful mother who taught me everything good that I am. She lifts me up when I am down, encourages me to move forward with faith, allows me to lean on her until I can get enough strength to stand on my own and taught me about a loving Father in Heaven who listens to me and walks with me each day! I love you, Momma and all that I am I owe to you. Thank you! I have also been blessed with a wonderful stepmother who treats me with kindness and respect and who has always been my friend. I am thankful for the love that she shows to me all the time and how she accepts me for who and what I am. I love you, Dibbie..and thank you! I have also been blessed with sisters who have taught me more than I could ever express in words. You have been my greatest examples of love, tenderness, kindness and taught me what being a friend is all about! You have followed me into the depths of grief and carried me thru and you have laughed with me in our silliest moments and shared all my joys and all my sorrows! Libbi and Kim...I love you...you are my best friends and I am grateful! To my sister in law...thank you..you are my friend and my biggest defender! I have found great joy in our friendship and we have walked together down many roads! I love you, Jewel! To my wonderful nieces who are either mothers or will one day be mothers...I am so proud of how you live your lives and I love you very much! You make me proud to be your aunt! Most of all I am grateful that I have been given four beautiful children to mother...each of my children have brought different joys and different challenges to me and they have all taught me to be better and live closer to the Lord. I will celebrate today with my family and be grateful I came from a rich heritage of loving women and I will look at my children and hopefully pass on to them what I have learned. I will kiss all my children tomorrow and I will look up into the heavens and think of my precious baby and I will know that he will be with me tomorrow and my tears will fall but I will know that I have been blessed beyond what I deserve for I have been given the greatest of all gifts...a great heritage and four beautiful children in whom I will be honored to hear them call me Mother! Happy Mothers Day everyone! I love you all!!!!!

House Facelift!!!

2009-05-03T16:34:00.001-07:00

When Jeff and I first bought this house, the thing we did not like was the covered porch and all these big ugly overgrown boxwoods in the front of it! Well, it will take a lot of money and work to tear down the covered porch and make a real one so until we can really do that, we weren't sure what to do. One day Jeff got irritated with the bushes out front, wrapped a chain around them and jerked them up with his truck. Since then, there has been nothing out there (which believe it or not, looked better than those ugly boxwoods) but then we have had to decide what to do. We have finally gotten the front of the house done to what we feel like is a pretty view when you drive up. I used to always say that our house was the ugliest one on the block but I can't say that now. Jeff still wants a traditional porch and we are going to be working towards making that happen; however, in the meantime we are happy with what we have now! I took some before and after pictures below. It's hard to really see it as well in pictures but you can get an idea! We also spent the day yesterday cleaning out the garage and our back porch! Not to mention the spring cleaning on the inside...it was a long day but it was worth it when we drove up from church and looked at our new view!

The front of the house before we did anything!

The front of our house after we finished!

The right front side of our house!

The left front side of our house!

The entrance to our house!

2009 Day of Service!

2009-04-26T10:55:00.001-07:00

Our day of service was doing a 5k family fun run to gather food for the NC Food Bank and clothes for several different charities in our area! To register for the fun run you had to donate 10 cans of food per person. We also were donating clothing at each of our church buildings! We got started at 8:30 am on Saturday at the Wake Forest Building! If any on you know anything about Wake Forest, NC then you know that it is extremely hilly! We started and ended our 5k run at the church after going up and thru the neighborhood behind the church! It was full of hills! There were over 1000 people registered for the event and we all lined up according to speed! It was super hot so everyone carried water bottles and we all took off! What a great time we had! I was among the slowest walkers but I finished with a sprint and then fell over in the grass..hahahaha! Emily did great and breezed past me from the beginning! Momma and Nathan came in very last but you would have thought they had won if you had listened to the cheering crowd! Everyone was so excited for them to cross the finish line and everyone was cheering with music playing...it was great fun and a great way to do service! We were all hot, tired and sore by the end of the day but it felt great to join with the other 98 stakes participating in the day of service and give to our community! We had a ball and are looking forward already to next year! It gives me a goal to shoot for...I will be jogging in next years race! What a load of fun!!!!

Momma and Nathan before the race

Emily and Bishop Tiek before the race

Emily running across the finish line
Jean running across the finish line!
Jean smiling because she had FINISHED!!

And then there were two....crossing to the sound of the cheering crowd!

Good to be home!

2009-04-22T13:58:00.001-07:00

We finally made it home yesterday and it felt so good to walk in the door and know that we didn't have to go back to the hospital this time! Michael was so excited to be home again and play with his new Wii game that he got for Easter. He wasn't able to play with it until we got home so that was the first thing that he did! He has been outside a lot today making up for lost time and good weather last week and is thoroughly enjoying being back to normal! It is so good to see him playing, laughing, and back to his happy go lucky self! His mom is extremely tired so I am taking the day off to rest and get my mojo back! Anyway...here is Mikey back in his normal element...